But yeah every city has its charm but every place always has something that they cant really be proud of! For instance I cant imagine americans are very proud of that over 30000 people are dying in gunrelated situations every year! I dont think Germany are particullary jolly over the fact that one of the biggest murderers in history were leading their country for a couple of years back in the days...Agreed? So, yeah every place in the world has something they want to forget but sometimes those things are pretty funny when you are deep smack in the middle of it!
I was in Barcelona a couple of months ago and drugdealers are waiting for you on every streetcorner you are strolling down on! At first its something you really reflect on and you think you can change the world with just saying the words, "Did you hear that guy? He was trying to sell narcotics to me, right on the street! That is so wrong, I cant believe this, I am chocked, CHOCKED!" Cause that´s how we function, especially swedes when going to other places that isnt Sweden! But pretty quickly you realize you cant do shit cause you are an unsignificant fuck and in reality; nothing is perfect! So, you can either feel bad about it and think about every shit that goes on, or you can just let it go and move on cause you cant do anything about it! So just Foorget that people are dying needlessly in diseases and due to drugs around the world, shit happens, roll with it, nothing is sacred anymore and nothing is perfect! So as soon you realize that you cant do anything about it, you can just find a way to live your own life simultaneously to all the shit that goes on in the world!
And that´s when you can see the funny part in almost everything! I did that, when I was at the beach one day, and this is by the way in the middle of broad daylight around lunchtime, and this spanish dude comes up to me. He starts offering things and his verbal list starts with legal shit and just spirals down to any crap you can think of! I am just chilling and this dude, and for the record, this dude wasnt the only one, no they were at least 10 dudes walking around offering the same thing every other minute! Like after my first no I all off a sudden is in a desperate need of "Hashish" as they so proudly pronounces it! But yeah this dude comes up and just casually starts to offer me in this verbally putted list of his, just like; "What do you want? water, fanta, cola, sprite.. beer....hashiiish??" Haha I just love the fact that he starts out slow with regular soft drinks and just keep going down the list with wierder and wierder suggestions and for every offer he presents to me, the pause between them are longer and longer due to the fact that what he really wants to sell is the things that are in the bottom of his list! He probably doesnt even have any soft drinks at all, he is just there to sell his weed and he think he has come up with the best system in the world to keep it on the down low! If I would have said; "uuuh yeah a coke would be awesome!", He probably would get upset and say; "A coke!?? Are you fucking stupid, you think I am standing here trying to sell soft drinks!?" You know, he just starts judging me for asking him for a coke, just like; "A Coke? There is a 7-eleven right THERE! How lazy are you!??"
and just wandering off really slow, still mumbling like; "stupid tourists...coke..pff..fucking moron.."But of course in spanish but you know I only took spanish courses for the field trip to party a lot in Spain, like everyother kid that takes language courses... To learn??... Fuck that...
But it would be awesome if every criminal should do that list- kind of a thing everytime before they commit a crime! Like if a criminal came up to a girl on the street in the middle of the night, just like; "What do you want? Robbery? I can rob you and steal like your handbag...Assault? Huuuh what do you think, I can just round up my buddies and we could like kick you and punch you til you actually give us all of your money, that´s pretty cool right? Or check this out, how about rape and manslaughter!? That is personally my favourite! Like I start talking to you really nice and then I slap you to the ground and drag you to the closest bushes and tear off all your clothes and then I top it of by hanging you in a tree so it will look like suicide!? Huh, how about that?" She is like; "uuhm, I think I will pass this time, raincheck, OK? But maybe I will come back to this streetcorner next week and get some of that sexual abuse, ok?"
It would be much easier to avoid problems, I think!
peace
måndag 3 november 2008
A lot of the times its funny as hell to call a bluff!
Every city in the world has its own charm and many places around the globe has something to be proud of.. It can be anything from a village having more sheep than people as population to a place with great history and ruins that amazes you while wandering around the place! And we all want to go there cause we are, well humans! Because we as a race have that special feeling when not believing in something until we´ve seen it with our own eyes! We are just stubborn as a fucking mule! It can also be that adventurous adrenaline that gives us the need to explore places, from time to time, outside of our safe bubble that is surrounded with a white picketfence..
It can also be for the very simple reason that enables us to say in a discussion; "Well, I actually went there last spring with my wife, yeah it was lovely, you should go there when you have the chance, magnificant!" Just to shine a little bit in our usual and boring lives... Because lets face it, we are a group of bastards just looking for any opportunity to show off and shine in other people´s company! I mean who doesnt get that little smile when the following situation presents itself from phrases like; "did you hear? the swedish national football team won in a match against Brazil?" Then he comes in, you know, that guy who always wants to top whatever you just said, because..its fun?? no its not fun at all, its simply because he is an Asshole!; "Uuh, yeah, I was there, it was awesome! I even talked a little bit with Zlatan after the game... he is a nice guy actually, he invited me and my wife to his place for christmas, but I dont know, think we will cancel, I mean we got our own lives to think about, we dont want to intrude!!" dont you hate that guy?
Every friend- group has that guy either close to them or someone they aaaalways meet out in a pub or something like that.. I am gonna let you in on a little secret; either you have one of the coolest guys as your friend or for the most part, you have a liar in your life! We all know that guy, he always has an answer lined up, its almost like he has quecards under the table and/ or he is probably taping every channel´s latest newscast there is and memorize it word for word..The only difference is that he remembers the things he hear with himself in the stories! That cant be easy, all cred to the cronical liars, because damn it must be really hard to remember eveything they have "experienced" in their lives! But we know, sooner or later they will slip up and the lies dont cooperate with eachother anymore! He knows it, you know it but the show must go on and no one corrects him, becuase you know, its more fun that way! Its like, "Yeah, I was thiiis close to be drafted when I just "happened" to stumble into Madison Square Garden where the New York Rangers are playing and I got to talk with the manager and we booked a date and a time for me to try out for the team, but then what do you know? I get hit by a cab, you know one of those yellow ones you always see in movies? Yeah, you know what I am talking about guys, you are always in front of the TV, bumming around!"
You know how they get worked up when they are starting a "story" aka a lie? They love every second of it, because they get really into the character and start believing it themself, so all of a sudden they start picking on you for not being high and mighty as him you know? just thinking to himself that he is the greatest and cant believe that he is hanging out with you loosers! and its sooo funny to listen intensly just putting more fuel to his ego, like you are really believing in everything that comes out of the dude´s mouth but in reality you are just waiting for him to stop and breath for a moment! because almost every time there is someone there that he would like to impress, 9 times out of 10, its a girl! so the lying just doesnt stop and under those sircumstances it is just hilarious to cut them off and just flat out call their bluff! Just cut him off once and just go mental on his ass and totally call his bluff, like this;
"Ok, first things first, you are an asshole who should be putted to sleep this second or at least be captured by the Korean army as an enemy and get aaaa loooot of cuts and bruises because damn I hate you, Vanish! And yeah, asshole, we know the yellow cabs, do you think we are stupid? However why you know it, its probably the exact same way how we know it; infront of the TV, U arrogant bastard! But the only difference between us two and you is when you watch something interesting or cool on the old tele, you see yourself doing it, you SOB trash! Just because you can memorize the words from anything doesnt mean you persé did them you freaking lunatic! And also, you have never been to New York, You havent even been outside your freaking doorstep since you quit school two years ago and the only logical reason on how you can possibly know the name of the New York Rangers´s home arena, is from last week`s 90 minutes documentary on NHL´s history, which you saw with US, you annoying dill-hole!!"
try it sometime when one of your friends just go on and on, you can almost make them cry when they realize they have been made a fool!
But beware, most of these guys are the ones who steals their father´s rifle and just go mental in some school!
Goooooood, I hate those guys soo much, noticed that anyone? But you gotta give them cred for coming up on all the shit and also they are very good with memorizing small ass details, too bad they didnt focused their one of a kind- memory on something worth while because you people with good memory are a very rare group, indeed!
OK, damn this wasnt at all what I wanted to write about, fuck.. Alright, one more long text cant hurt me, I dont think I can get too many complaints though and thats the beauty with not having so many readers, its impossible to get many complaints, becuase if you are not dumb you can probably work out for yourself that the number of complaints are in direct proportion to the number of readers! so cleared out that buisness for you! Okey, complaints or no complaints, I will divide this text into two different ones cause, its too F-ing looong..So this one stops here and now and the other will be right above this one, so scroll that shit!
Peace
It can also be for the very simple reason that enables us to say in a discussion; "Well, I actually went there last spring with my wife, yeah it was lovely, you should go there when you have the chance, magnificant!" Just to shine a little bit in our usual and boring lives... Because lets face it, we are a group of bastards just looking for any opportunity to show off and shine in other people´s company! I mean who doesnt get that little smile when the following situation presents itself from phrases like; "did you hear? the swedish national football team won in a match against Brazil?" Then he comes in, you know, that guy who always wants to top whatever you just said, because..its fun?? no its not fun at all, its simply because he is an Asshole!; "Uuh, yeah, I was there, it was awesome! I even talked a little bit with Zlatan after the game... he is a nice guy actually, he invited me and my wife to his place for christmas, but I dont know, think we will cancel, I mean we got our own lives to think about, we dont want to intrude!!" dont you hate that guy?
Every friend- group has that guy either close to them or someone they aaaalways meet out in a pub or something like that.. I am gonna let you in on a little secret; either you have one of the coolest guys as your friend or for the most part, you have a liar in your life! We all know that guy, he always has an answer lined up, its almost like he has quecards under the table and/ or he is probably taping every channel´s latest newscast there is and memorize it word for word..The only difference is that he remembers the things he hear with himself in the stories! That cant be easy, all cred to the cronical liars, because damn it must be really hard to remember eveything they have "experienced" in their lives! But we know, sooner or later they will slip up and the lies dont cooperate with eachother anymore! He knows it, you know it but the show must go on and no one corrects him, becuase you know, its more fun that way! Its like, "Yeah, I was thiiis close to be drafted when I just "happened" to stumble into Madison Square Garden where the New York Rangers are playing and I got to talk with the manager and we booked a date and a time for me to try out for the team, but then what do you know? I get hit by a cab, you know one of those yellow ones you always see in movies? Yeah, you know what I am talking about guys, you are always in front of the TV, bumming around!"
You know how they get worked up when they are starting a "story" aka a lie? They love every second of it, because they get really into the character and start believing it themself, so all of a sudden they start picking on you for not being high and mighty as him you know? just thinking to himself that he is the greatest and cant believe that he is hanging out with you loosers! and its sooo funny to listen intensly just putting more fuel to his ego, like you are really believing in everything that comes out of the dude´s mouth but in reality you are just waiting for him to stop and breath for a moment! because almost every time there is someone there that he would like to impress, 9 times out of 10, its a girl! so the lying just doesnt stop and under those sircumstances it is just hilarious to cut them off and just flat out call their bluff! Just cut him off once and just go mental on his ass and totally call his bluff, like this;
"Ok, first things first, you are an asshole who should be putted to sleep this second or at least be captured by the Korean army as an enemy and get aaaa loooot of cuts and bruises because damn I hate you, Vanish! And yeah, asshole, we know the yellow cabs, do you think we are stupid? However why you know it, its probably the exact same way how we know it; infront of the TV, U arrogant bastard! But the only difference between us two and you is when you watch something interesting or cool on the old tele, you see yourself doing it, you SOB trash! Just because you can memorize the words from anything doesnt mean you persé did them you freaking lunatic! And also, you have never been to New York, You havent even been outside your freaking doorstep since you quit school two years ago and the only logical reason on how you can possibly know the name of the New York Rangers´s home arena, is from last week`s 90 minutes documentary on NHL´s history, which you saw with US, you annoying dill-hole!!"
try it sometime when one of your friends just go on and on, you can almost make them cry when they realize they have been made a fool!
But beware, most of these guys are the ones who steals their father´s rifle and just go mental in some school!
Goooooood, I hate those guys soo much, noticed that anyone? But you gotta give them cred for coming up on all the shit and also they are very good with memorizing small ass details, too bad they didnt focused their one of a kind- memory on something worth while because you people with good memory are a very rare group, indeed!
OK, damn this wasnt at all what I wanted to write about, fuck.. Alright, one more long text cant hurt me, I dont think I can get too many complaints though and thats the beauty with not having so many readers, its impossible to get many complaints, becuase if you are not dumb you can probably work out for yourself that the number of complaints are in direct proportion to the number of readers! so cleared out that buisness for you! Okey, complaints or no complaints, I will divide this text into two different ones cause, its too F-ing looong..So this one stops here and now and the other will be right above this one, so scroll that shit!
Peace
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