I was on a flight recently and still the drills while on the plane amazes me everytime. First of all; the electric devices has to be shutted off during take off and landing. Really? What can possibly happen that includes a Boeing, a crash in the Atlantic and my iphone? I cant see that scenario at all. I never shut mine off during take off nor landing. Why? Simply if we are about to go down I can go: "wow what do you know, my listening to metallica DID actually kill 60 or so people; my grandparents was right all along; Rock is the work of the devil who knew!? "I shouldnt have doubted you guys I should have turned it off during landing, my bad, guess I got a lethal apple, much like in the bible.... But then again in that scenario it was except for the lethal apple also two nudists and a snake not me stinking like a tequila- factory, a senior citizen for a stewardess, a giant airplane and an iphone...so a couple off different details but still..
But the most bisarre situation I was in during a take off on a flight to Malmö. It was sunny and cloudfree in the middle of the day and I had a bitching hang over. I had the window- seat and I decided to take down the window-blind so I wouldnt burn my eyes out of their sockets; who wouldnt right? Seems like a perfect rational idea but appearently NOOO no no no... A bitter stewardess who seen here share of sky and I actually think when she steps of this plane she will step of completely. She basically rushed forward over the poor elderly couple that was in seat D and E to say, already irritated probably over the fact she was already in her late thirtys when the airplane was first invented. -"Would you please be cooperative and take up your blind while taking off; SIR!? I didnt want an argument right there while my head was imploding, I was more busy asking myself why they invented the 1 litre bottles of vodka... So I pulled it up but WHAT!?? What the fuck does my blind being down or up has anything to do with the pilot trying to straight out the giant tin bird a couple of thousand metres over the ground. I mean he is not sitting next to me steering this giant Boeing leaning his head on my shoulder going: "hey hey hey pull that up; I cant see where we going!"
So in case of an accident with the plane; I really cant see why I have to watch the plane plumbing down to certain death. I mean if I have a couple of minutes left to live isnt it my option what I wanna SEE infront of me? Maybe I do not wish to watch the Atlantic coming faster and faster closer and closer before it swallows the plane completely? I think knowing is enough. Isnt it bad enough I am certainly going to die I have to be no blind- front seat of the whole goddamn spectacle which is a scenario that becomes reality cause someone else fucked up! I mean the food is crap but I can live with that if you just dont crash the mother F-in airplane, thank you very much!
And really arnt we passed the whole applause scene everytime we successfully complete a landing? Who are we clapping for, really? The pilots? I mean this is their job, the pilots, they are suppossed to master this procedure quite well. But If instead a 75 year old man on a peanut allergy- reaction lands the plane with no harm nor foul then I would clap the hell out for him but if there is a pilot with at least 50 landings in his life cant do his job without an old cheering I would get to stand next him during next flight and slap him repeatedly and giving him wet willys... If he lands then break out the ol' babypowder cause this man deserves an applause...
It cant be a clapping for ourselves surviving yet another landing. I dont know about you But I have never seen survivors clapping. A woman right after a rape and attemptive murder goes:" WHOO ALRIGHT *CLAP CLAP CLAP* I MADE it, yeaaah! So it must be for the pilots... This is the half of what they do; landing. The other half; TAKE OFF! if they cant do this proper they shouldnt be pilots, during this material I was simultanously trying to come up with a line of work that is worthy an applause after they were done and except for show business I think a bartender. Why? Simply cause that is what I do and I fucking want my applauses, god damn pilots taking all the cheering while working... Douches...
But the most bisarre situation I was in during a take off on a flight to Malmö. It was sunny and cloudfree in the middle of the day and I had a bitching hang over. I had the window- seat and I decided to take down the window-blind so I wouldnt burn my eyes out of their sockets; who wouldnt right? Seems like a perfect rational idea but appearently NOOO no no no... A bitter stewardess who seen here share of sky and I actually think when she steps of this plane she will step of completely. She basically rushed forward over the poor elderly couple that was in seat D and E to say, already irritated probably over the fact she was already in her late thirtys when the airplane was first invented. -"Would you please be cooperative and take up your blind while taking off; SIR!? I didnt want an argument right there while my head was imploding, I was more busy asking myself why they invented the 1 litre bottles of vodka... So I pulled it up but WHAT!?? What the fuck does my blind being down or up has anything to do with the pilot trying to straight out the giant tin bird a couple of thousand metres over the ground. I mean he is not sitting next to me steering this giant Boeing leaning his head on my shoulder going: "hey hey hey pull that up; I cant see where we going!"
So in case of an accident with the plane; I really cant see why I have to watch the plane plumbing down to certain death. I mean if I have a couple of minutes left to live isnt it my option what I wanna SEE infront of me? Maybe I do not wish to watch the Atlantic coming faster and faster closer and closer before it swallows the plane completely? I think knowing is enough. Isnt it bad enough I am certainly going to die I have to be no blind- front seat of the whole goddamn spectacle which is a scenario that becomes reality cause someone else fucked up! I mean the food is crap but I can live with that if you just dont crash the mother F-in airplane, thank you very much!
And really arnt we passed the whole applause scene everytime we successfully complete a landing? Who are we clapping for, really? The pilots? I mean this is their job, the pilots, they are suppossed to master this procedure quite well. But If instead a 75 year old man on a peanut allergy- reaction lands the plane with no harm nor foul then I would clap the hell out for him but if there is a pilot with at least 50 landings in his life cant do his job without an old cheering I would get to stand next him during next flight and slap him repeatedly and giving him wet willys... If he lands then break out the ol' babypowder cause this man deserves an applause...
It cant be a clapping for ourselves surviving yet another landing. I dont know about you But I have never seen survivors clapping. A woman right after a rape and attemptive murder goes:" WHOO ALRIGHT *CLAP CLAP CLAP* I MADE it, yeaaah! So it must be for the pilots... This is the half of what they do; landing. The other half; TAKE OFF! if they cant do this proper they shouldnt be pilots, during this material I was simultanously trying to come up with a line of work that is worthy an applause after they were done and except for show business I think a bartender. Why? Simply cause that is what I do and I fucking want my applauses, god damn pilots taking all the cheering while working... Douches...
