I was on the bus today and at first this was just any other ordinary bus- travel with my ipod and a few other people on the bus.. Then the bus turns right to the stop near a school...aaaa Cmoon, Fuck me sideways! The bus-stop is packed with small kids, big kids, kids who think they are adults and every single kind of kid you can think of! No one stepped off the bus, and eveeery one at the stop was going on the same bus I so convenient was on!
Every seat gets slowly occupied but there are still like 10 or so who has to stand up in the aisle.. I´m of course sitting where there are four seats, not the usually two seats.. Lucky me, I have my ipod so I dont have to listen to these 2 chicks sitting next to me babbling about whatever they are talking about after a hard day in school....Anyway, there are getting on more and more people on the bus for every stop that goes and maybe 2 stops after the school a family, with 3 kids jumps on the bus and they have to stand beside where I´m sitting.. In the seat right across mine is a third chick who is rather cute.. Then when she sees that this mother is struggling with 2 little kids while standing up, the cute girl offers her knee to the mother for one of her kids so she can hold up one of them, and the mother is sighing happily and let her kid sit on the girl´s lap! And I thought, aaah that is nice, helping a mother like that in a situation which must be rather trying; a fullpacked bus with a loot of people with 2 small children!
then I start to think about the situation... I cant understand how she wants to put herself in that situation? Another person´s kid? Maybe the kid pukes from the bumby ride right on her jacket, maybe the little one starts screaming like a ghost ( I have noticed that on the bus, small kids appearantly likes to scream as loud they can for some reason I really cant see...) what are she going to do about that? She is a perfect stranger and after what I have learned, even mothers have a hard time to keep their children quiet, how is a young woman going to handle the situation? I mean a lot of young women sometimes wishes that they could be a mother for a day and take care of a kid, but those feelings are usually hitting the surface in a nice situation when a child is laughing and playing with its mother or something, not on a freaking bus when the mother is hitting her stress- peak trying to wipe of the sweat from her forehead at the same time holding a kid on each hip...
Y´know, there are no busmother- babywelfare- money and I told her "Dont forget to give him back when you are stepping of the bus!" she laughed a little bit and answered "no I will try and remember that"... Must have felt awesome for her, for 12 minutes she was a caring mother on a bus holding her little kid, and when stepping of the bus, Boom! she is childfree and a young woman again who can go back to think and daydream about how funny the guy across her on the bus was and how cute he also was! //
onsdag 11 mars 2009
Yes To Cancer and AIDS, No to Worldpeace!
When it rains it pours I guess..the last post inspired me to write this...
I had a hilarious encounter with a woman a couple of weeks ago.. It was out on a pub and I was standing outside with a cigarette in my mouth! Out comes this rather nice looking girl who I´ve already had seen inside..she kept smiling at me so I figure, hey why not talk to her, she seems nice!
So I did, I walked up to her, offered her a cigarette and she took it and I introduced myself!
I am not kidding here, this is what she said to me; " My name is amanda and I am a feminist!"
!!?? My mind started to shout in my head; "WHAAT THE HELL WAS THAT!??
where is the candid camera? Did I all of sudden participated in some sort of anonymous feminists?
was I supposed to answer to this with "Hiiiii Amanda!" ?? I couldnt believe she actually said this to me.. First I thought I should just walk away but then I actually got irritated cause can people around the world stop "standing up" for the most obvious opinions!? Its insane; "I am a feminist, join groups like "against animal torture", "for world peace"... I mean c´moooon!
I am tired of people saying the most obvious things like its their own "opinion" and how they have really thought it through! So Amanda, the feminist, I didnt know if I should have laughed or cried, So I just "yeah I am also a feminist, and I am aslo straight so do you wanna come back to my place for a little rumble between the sheets??" She slapped the hell out of me..
But feminism? standing up for the women´s rights in our society, right? Women shall have the same rights and are supposed to be equal to men? Yeah, I mean cmon who doesnt feel like that?
Isnt that the most obvious opinion you´ve heard? Feminist? Yeah who isnt? Its the same thing with all these obvious factual matters; I have the same opinions ( and I am pretty sure the rest of the world agrees, except a couple who actually is grabbing a cat and puts it in his hash-pipe) but the only difference is that I dont have to join a fuckin group to tell the world I dont like little puppies getting tortured and putted in freezers in some person´s basement, if the world is doubting on my opinion on that subject, well FUCK the world then! Lets get some perspective here, its 2009, if someone tells me aaany obvious statement in the same sentence they are telling me their name while introducing themself, I get to slap them 9 times in the face! And if it is a woman telling me she is a feminist, she only gets 6 slaps cause lets face it, we all know this already, women are weak and doesnt posses the same resistance as men!! Aaand yes I am for female abuse and also,,, I like cancer...
I had a hilarious encounter with a woman a couple of weeks ago.. It was out on a pub and I was standing outside with a cigarette in my mouth! Out comes this rather nice looking girl who I´ve already had seen inside..she kept smiling at me so I figure, hey why not talk to her, she seems nice!
So I did, I walked up to her, offered her a cigarette and she took it and I introduced myself!
I am not kidding here, this is what she said to me; " My name is amanda and I am a feminist!"
!!?? My mind started to shout in my head; "WHAAT THE HELL WAS THAT!??
where is the candid camera? Did I all of sudden participated in some sort of anonymous feminists?
was I supposed to answer to this with "Hiiiii Amanda!" ?? I couldnt believe she actually said this to me.. First I thought I should just walk away but then I actually got irritated cause can people around the world stop "standing up" for the most obvious opinions!? Its insane; "I am a feminist, join groups like "against animal torture", "for world peace"... I mean c´moooon!
I am tired of people saying the most obvious things like its their own "opinion" and how they have really thought it through! So Amanda, the feminist, I didnt know if I should have laughed or cried, So I just "yeah I am also a feminist, and I am aslo straight so do you wanna come back to my place for a little rumble between the sheets??" She slapped the hell out of me..
But feminism? standing up for the women´s rights in our society, right? Women shall have the same rights and are supposed to be equal to men? Yeah, I mean cmon who doesnt feel like that?
Isnt that the most obvious opinion you´ve heard? Feminist? Yeah who isnt? Its the same thing with all these obvious factual matters; I have the same opinions ( and I am pretty sure the rest of the world agrees, except a couple who actually is grabbing a cat and puts it in his hash-pipe) but the only difference is that I dont have to join a fuckin group to tell the world I dont like little puppies getting tortured and putted in freezers in some person´s basement, if the world is doubting on my opinion on that subject, well FUCK the world then! Lets get some perspective here, its 2009, if someone tells me aaany obvious statement in the same sentence they are telling me their name while introducing themself, I get to slap them 9 times in the face! And if it is a woman telling me she is a feminist, she only gets 6 slaps cause lets face it, we all know this already, women are weak and doesnt posses the same resistance as men!! Aaand yes I am for female abuse and also,,, I like cancer...
we know, mrs expert, Michael Moore already told us a couple of years ago!
Okey long time no see and all that...
I am pissed off!
I was watching Jay Leno a couple of hours ago and on the show there was this female "political expert" who has a show on MSNBC.. Rachel Maddow or something was her name.. Political issues in the U.S are now a hot subject which is fully understandable cause they have encountered an election which has already made history with a minority in the oval office, and all around the world people are loving the new changes! Another thing that is worth mentioning is that it wasnt his etnicity that made it happen, Obama is the right man for the position! Although he doesnt have a huge portion of political experience, he posses something greater; a passion and a strong will to make a difference for the american people and to get them out of the huge puddle of crap, which the Bush administration putted them in!
They are in a huge economical crise (which they have in common with the rest of the world) and of course their pathetic health care system! Which leads me to why this post was created...
The political expert on jay leno was there to throw yet another opinion- molotov cocktail through the republican´s window! And I am all for that, cause they have to realize that now is time for the democrats to step in and fix their failures, so please stay out of it now Republicans! You had your chance... So Jay is interviewing this woman and yes at first she really sounds like an "Expert" in this particular discussion, she seems to be on top of her game and well- read! But a couple of minutes into the interview I choke on the big portion of obviousity (dont know if thats a word..) that comes out of her mouth!
She goes on saying that their present health care system is ridiculous and stupid! Only some percent of the american people has an health insurance and how much money it cost to be sick in America.. She says it would be reasonable if they actually would have had the best health care system in the world and that the american population are the healthiest and fittest people in the world and that the average american is growing up to be 300 years old! Then it would be understandable with such an expensive system but that is of course not the case..What she means is that its perfectly reasonable to pay those huge amounts if you are getting something worth while! You pay good money for something that is great, of course! But now they dont, they are paying insanely much money for a crappy system with a bunch of holes in it! Who wants to do that?
What ticks me off with the whole thing, she is supposed to be an expert! She gets that precious air time to say something that can help the viewers start believing again, that now things will be better! But all she does with that time is preaching to the choir! Anybody could go up there and make exactly the same discussion! An Expert! She is supposed to deliver answers not questions!
"Our present health care system is ridiculous!" Uuuuh, yeah I could tell you that! Michael Moore has already mentioned that! Eeeverybody has seen Sicko, Rachel make something worth while with your time! An Expert my ass, every hobo on each street corner can tell you that the health care system is boloni and they can probably give us a more insightfull opinion cause he can actually give us a personal example related to the story! That would be more insightful and learning than with a lesbian political expert, and she is probably one of those few people who actually has an insurance which she pays with the money from hogging valuable air time on a million- audience- TV show! There she does her appearences with just questions and obvious statements but no answers, Goood I hope that her own show do answer some questions cause otherwise I dont know what the hell is going on!
I am pissed off!
I was watching Jay Leno a couple of hours ago and on the show there was this female "political expert" who has a show on MSNBC.. Rachel Maddow or something was her name.. Political issues in the U.S are now a hot subject which is fully understandable cause they have encountered an election which has already made history with a minority in the oval office, and all around the world people are loving the new changes! Another thing that is worth mentioning is that it wasnt his etnicity that made it happen, Obama is the right man for the position! Although he doesnt have a huge portion of political experience, he posses something greater; a passion and a strong will to make a difference for the american people and to get them out of the huge puddle of crap, which the Bush administration putted them in!
They are in a huge economical crise (which they have in common with the rest of the world) and of course their pathetic health care system! Which leads me to why this post was created...
The political expert on jay leno was there to throw yet another opinion- molotov cocktail through the republican´s window! And I am all for that, cause they have to realize that now is time for the democrats to step in and fix their failures, so please stay out of it now Republicans! You had your chance... So Jay is interviewing this woman and yes at first she really sounds like an "Expert" in this particular discussion, she seems to be on top of her game and well- read! But a couple of minutes into the interview I choke on the big portion of obviousity (dont know if thats a word..) that comes out of her mouth!
She goes on saying that their present health care system is ridiculous and stupid! Only some percent of the american people has an health insurance and how much money it cost to be sick in America.. She says it would be reasonable if they actually would have had the best health care system in the world and that the american population are the healthiest and fittest people in the world and that the average american is growing up to be 300 years old! Then it would be understandable with such an expensive system but that is of course not the case..What she means is that its perfectly reasonable to pay those huge amounts if you are getting something worth while! You pay good money for something that is great, of course! But now they dont, they are paying insanely much money for a crappy system with a bunch of holes in it! Who wants to do that?
What ticks me off with the whole thing, she is supposed to be an expert! She gets that precious air time to say something that can help the viewers start believing again, that now things will be better! But all she does with that time is preaching to the choir! Anybody could go up there and make exactly the same discussion! An Expert! She is supposed to deliver answers not questions!
"Our present health care system is ridiculous!" Uuuuh, yeah I could tell you that! Michael Moore has already mentioned that! Eeeverybody has seen Sicko, Rachel make something worth while with your time! An Expert my ass, every hobo on each street corner can tell you that the health care system is boloni and they can probably give us a more insightfull opinion cause he can actually give us a personal example related to the story! That would be more insightful and learning than with a lesbian political expert, and she is probably one of those few people who actually has an insurance which she pays with the money from hogging valuable air time on a million- audience- TV show! There she does her appearences with just questions and obvious statements but no answers, Goood I hope that her own show do answer some questions cause otherwise I dont know what the hell is going on!
måndag 3 november 2008
Fanta, Cola, water..,..Rape??
But yeah every city has its charm but every place always has something that they cant really be proud of! For instance I cant imagine americans are very proud of that over 30000 people are dying in gunrelated situations every year! I dont think Germany are particullary jolly over the fact that one of the biggest murderers in history were leading their country for a couple of years back in the days...Agreed? So, yeah every place in the world has something they want to forget but sometimes those things are pretty funny when you are deep smack in the middle of it!
I was in Barcelona a couple of months ago and drugdealers are waiting for you on every streetcorner you are strolling down on! At first its something you really reflect on and you think you can change the world with just saying the words, "Did you hear that guy? He was trying to sell narcotics to me, right on the street! That is so wrong, I cant believe this, I am chocked, CHOCKED!" Cause that´s how we function, especially swedes when going to other places that isnt Sweden! But pretty quickly you realize you cant do shit cause you are an unsignificant fuck and in reality; nothing is perfect! So, you can either feel bad about it and think about every shit that goes on, or you can just let it go and move on cause you cant do anything about it! So just Foorget that people are dying needlessly in diseases and due to drugs around the world, shit happens, roll with it, nothing is sacred anymore and nothing is perfect! So as soon you realize that you cant do anything about it, you can just find a way to live your own life simultaneously to all the shit that goes on in the world!
And that´s when you can see the funny part in almost everything! I did that, when I was at the beach one day, and this is by the way in the middle of broad daylight around lunchtime, and this spanish dude comes up to me. He starts offering things and his verbal list starts with legal shit and just spirals down to any crap you can think of! I am just chilling and this dude, and for the record, this dude wasnt the only one, no they were at least 10 dudes walking around offering the same thing every other minute! Like after my first no I all off a sudden is in a desperate need of "Hashish" as they so proudly pronounces it! But yeah this dude comes up and just casually starts to offer me in this verbally putted list of his, just like; "What do you want? water, fanta, cola, sprite.. beer....hashiiish??" Haha I just love the fact that he starts out slow with regular soft drinks and just keep going down the list with wierder and wierder suggestions and for every offer he presents to me, the pause between them are longer and longer due to the fact that what he really wants to sell is the things that are in the bottom of his list! He probably doesnt even have any soft drinks at all, he is just there to sell his weed and he think he has come up with the best system in the world to keep it on the down low! If I would have said; "uuuh yeah a coke would be awesome!", He probably would get upset and say; "A coke!?? Are you fucking stupid, you think I am standing here trying to sell soft drinks!?" You know, he just starts judging me for asking him for a coke, just like; "A Coke? There is a 7-eleven right THERE! How lazy are you!??"
and just wandering off really slow, still mumbling like; "stupid tourists...coke..pff..fucking moron.."But of course in spanish but you know I only took spanish courses for the field trip to party a lot in Spain, like everyother kid that takes language courses... To learn??... Fuck that...
But it would be awesome if every criminal should do that list- kind of a thing everytime before they commit a crime! Like if a criminal came up to a girl on the street in the middle of the night, just like; "What do you want? Robbery? I can rob you and steal like your handbag...Assault? Huuuh what do you think, I can just round up my buddies and we could like kick you and punch you til you actually give us all of your money, that´s pretty cool right? Or check this out, how about rape and manslaughter!? That is personally my favourite! Like I start talking to you really nice and then I slap you to the ground and drag you to the closest bushes and tear off all your clothes and then I top it of by hanging you in a tree so it will look like suicide!? Huh, how about that?" She is like; "uuhm, I think I will pass this time, raincheck, OK? But maybe I will come back to this streetcorner next week and get some of that sexual abuse, ok?"
It would be much easier to avoid problems, I think!
peace
I was in Barcelona a couple of months ago and drugdealers are waiting for you on every streetcorner you are strolling down on! At first its something you really reflect on and you think you can change the world with just saying the words, "Did you hear that guy? He was trying to sell narcotics to me, right on the street! That is so wrong, I cant believe this, I am chocked, CHOCKED!" Cause that´s how we function, especially swedes when going to other places that isnt Sweden! But pretty quickly you realize you cant do shit cause you are an unsignificant fuck and in reality; nothing is perfect! So, you can either feel bad about it and think about every shit that goes on, or you can just let it go and move on cause you cant do anything about it! So just Foorget that people are dying needlessly in diseases and due to drugs around the world, shit happens, roll with it, nothing is sacred anymore and nothing is perfect! So as soon you realize that you cant do anything about it, you can just find a way to live your own life simultaneously to all the shit that goes on in the world!
And that´s when you can see the funny part in almost everything! I did that, when I was at the beach one day, and this is by the way in the middle of broad daylight around lunchtime, and this spanish dude comes up to me. He starts offering things and his verbal list starts with legal shit and just spirals down to any crap you can think of! I am just chilling and this dude, and for the record, this dude wasnt the only one, no they were at least 10 dudes walking around offering the same thing every other minute! Like after my first no I all off a sudden is in a desperate need of "Hashish" as they so proudly pronounces it! But yeah this dude comes up and just casually starts to offer me in this verbally putted list of his, just like; "What do you want? water, fanta, cola, sprite.. beer....hashiiish??" Haha I just love the fact that he starts out slow with regular soft drinks and just keep going down the list with wierder and wierder suggestions and for every offer he presents to me, the pause between them are longer and longer due to the fact that what he really wants to sell is the things that are in the bottom of his list! He probably doesnt even have any soft drinks at all, he is just there to sell his weed and he think he has come up with the best system in the world to keep it on the down low! If I would have said; "uuuh yeah a coke would be awesome!", He probably would get upset and say; "A coke!?? Are you fucking stupid, you think I am standing here trying to sell soft drinks!?" You know, he just starts judging me for asking him for a coke, just like; "A Coke? There is a 7-eleven right THERE! How lazy are you!??"
and just wandering off really slow, still mumbling like; "stupid tourists...coke..pff..fucking moron.."But of course in spanish but you know I only took spanish courses for the field trip to party a lot in Spain, like everyother kid that takes language courses... To learn??... Fuck that...
But it would be awesome if every criminal should do that list- kind of a thing everytime before they commit a crime! Like if a criminal came up to a girl on the street in the middle of the night, just like; "What do you want? Robbery? I can rob you and steal like your handbag...Assault? Huuuh what do you think, I can just round up my buddies and we could like kick you and punch you til you actually give us all of your money, that´s pretty cool right? Or check this out, how about rape and manslaughter!? That is personally my favourite! Like I start talking to you really nice and then I slap you to the ground and drag you to the closest bushes and tear off all your clothes and then I top it of by hanging you in a tree so it will look like suicide!? Huh, how about that?" She is like; "uuhm, I think I will pass this time, raincheck, OK? But maybe I will come back to this streetcorner next week and get some of that sexual abuse, ok?"
It would be much easier to avoid problems, I think!
peace
A lot of the times its funny as hell to call a bluff!
Every city in the world has its own charm and many places around the globe has something to be proud of.. It can be anything from a village having more sheep than people as population to a place with great history and ruins that amazes you while wandering around the place! And we all want to go there cause we are, well humans! Because we as a race have that special feeling when not believing in something until we´ve seen it with our own eyes! We are just stubborn as a fucking mule! It can also be that adventurous adrenaline that gives us the need to explore places, from time to time, outside of our safe bubble that is surrounded with a white picketfence..
It can also be for the very simple reason that enables us to say in a discussion; "Well, I actually went there last spring with my wife, yeah it was lovely, you should go there when you have the chance, magnificant!" Just to shine a little bit in our usual and boring lives... Because lets face it, we are a group of bastards just looking for any opportunity to show off and shine in other people´s company! I mean who doesnt get that little smile when the following situation presents itself from phrases like; "did you hear? the swedish national football team won in a match against Brazil?" Then he comes in, you know, that guy who always wants to top whatever you just said, because..its fun?? no its not fun at all, its simply because he is an Asshole!; "Uuh, yeah, I was there, it was awesome! I even talked a little bit with Zlatan after the game... he is a nice guy actually, he invited me and my wife to his place for christmas, but I dont know, think we will cancel, I mean we got our own lives to think about, we dont want to intrude!!" dont you hate that guy?
Every friend- group has that guy either close to them or someone they aaaalways meet out in a pub or something like that.. I am gonna let you in on a little secret; either you have one of the coolest guys as your friend or for the most part, you have a liar in your life! We all know that guy, he always has an answer lined up, its almost like he has quecards under the table and/ or he is probably taping every channel´s latest newscast there is and memorize it word for word..The only difference is that he remembers the things he hear with himself in the stories! That cant be easy, all cred to the cronical liars, because damn it must be really hard to remember eveything they have "experienced" in their lives! But we know, sooner or later they will slip up and the lies dont cooperate with eachother anymore! He knows it, you know it but the show must go on and no one corrects him, becuase you know, its more fun that way! Its like, "Yeah, I was thiiis close to be drafted when I just "happened" to stumble into Madison Square Garden where the New York Rangers are playing and I got to talk with the manager and we booked a date and a time for me to try out for the team, but then what do you know? I get hit by a cab, you know one of those yellow ones you always see in movies? Yeah, you know what I am talking about guys, you are always in front of the TV, bumming around!"
You know how they get worked up when they are starting a "story" aka a lie? They love every second of it, because they get really into the character and start believing it themself, so all of a sudden they start picking on you for not being high and mighty as him you know? just thinking to himself that he is the greatest and cant believe that he is hanging out with you loosers! and its sooo funny to listen intensly just putting more fuel to his ego, like you are really believing in everything that comes out of the dude´s mouth but in reality you are just waiting for him to stop and breath for a moment! because almost every time there is someone there that he would like to impress, 9 times out of 10, its a girl! so the lying just doesnt stop and under those sircumstances it is just hilarious to cut them off and just flat out call their bluff! Just cut him off once and just go mental on his ass and totally call his bluff, like this;
"Ok, first things first, you are an asshole who should be putted to sleep this second or at least be captured by the Korean army as an enemy and get aaaa loooot of cuts and bruises because damn I hate you, Vanish! And yeah, asshole, we know the yellow cabs, do you think we are stupid? However why you know it, its probably the exact same way how we know it; infront of the TV, U arrogant bastard! But the only difference between us two and you is when you watch something interesting or cool on the old tele, you see yourself doing it, you SOB trash! Just because you can memorize the words from anything doesnt mean you persé did them you freaking lunatic! And also, you have never been to New York, You havent even been outside your freaking doorstep since you quit school two years ago and the only logical reason on how you can possibly know the name of the New York Rangers´s home arena, is from last week`s 90 minutes documentary on NHL´s history, which you saw with US, you annoying dill-hole!!"
try it sometime when one of your friends just go on and on, you can almost make them cry when they realize they have been made a fool!
But beware, most of these guys are the ones who steals their father´s rifle and just go mental in some school!
Goooooood, I hate those guys soo much, noticed that anyone? But you gotta give them cred for coming up on all the shit and also they are very good with memorizing small ass details, too bad they didnt focused their one of a kind- memory on something worth while because you people with good memory are a very rare group, indeed!
OK, damn this wasnt at all what I wanted to write about, fuck.. Alright, one more long text cant hurt me, I dont think I can get too many complaints though and thats the beauty with not having so many readers, its impossible to get many complaints, becuase if you are not dumb you can probably work out for yourself that the number of complaints are in direct proportion to the number of readers! so cleared out that buisness for you! Okey, complaints or no complaints, I will divide this text into two different ones cause, its too F-ing looong..So this one stops here and now and the other will be right above this one, so scroll that shit!
Peace
It can also be for the very simple reason that enables us to say in a discussion; "Well, I actually went there last spring with my wife, yeah it was lovely, you should go there when you have the chance, magnificant!" Just to shine a little bit in our usual and boring lives... Because lets face it, we are a group of bastards just looking for any opportunity to show off and shine in other people´s company! I mean who doesnt get that little smile when the following situation presents itself from phrases like; "did you hear? the swedish national football team won in a match against Brazil?" Then he comes in, you know, that guy who always wants to top whatever you just said, because..its fun?? no its not fun at all, its simply because he is an Asshole!; "Uuh, yeah, I was there, it was awesome! I even talked a little bit with Zlatan after the game... he is a nice guy actually, he invited me and my wife to his place for christmas, but I dont know, think we will cancel, I mean we got our own lives to think about, we dont want to intrude!!" dont you hate that guy?
Every friend- group has that guy either close to them or someone they aaaalways meet out in a pub or something like that.. I am gonna let you in on a little secret; either you have one of the coolest guys as your friend or for the most part, you have a liar in your life! We all know that guy, he always has an answer lined up, its almost like he has quecards under the table and/ or he is probably taping every channel´s latest newscast there is and memorize it word for word..The only difference is that he remembers the things he hear with himself in the stories! That cant be easy, all cred to the cronical liars, because damn it must be really hard to remember eveything they have "experienced" in their lives! But we know, sooner or later they will slip up and the lies dont cooperate with eachother anymore! He knows it, you know it but the show must go on and no one corrects him, becuase you know, its more fun that way! Its like, "Yeah, I was thiiis close to be drafted when I just "happened" to stumble into Madison Square Garden where the New York Rangers are playing and I got to talk with the manager and we booked a date and a time for me to try out for the team, but then what do you know? I get hit by a cab, you know one of those yellow ones you always see in movies? Yeah, you know what I am talking about guys, you are always in front of the TV, bumming around!"
You know how they get worked up when they are starting a "story" aka a lie? They love every second of it, because they get really into the character and start believing it themself, so all of a sudden they start picking on you for not being high and mighty as him you know? just thinking to himself that he is the greatest and cant believe that he is hanging out with you loosers! and its sooo funny to listen intensly just putting more fuel to his ego, like you are really believing in everything that comes out of the dude´s mouth but in reality you are just waiting for him to stop and breath for a moment! because almost every time there is someone there that he would like to impress, 9 times out of 10, its a girl! so the lying just doesnt stop and under those sircumstances it is just hilarious to cut them off and just flat out call their bluff! Just cut him off once and just go mental on his ass and totally call his bluff, like this;
"Ok, first things first, you are an asshole who should be putted to sleep this second or at least be captured by the Korean army as an enemy and get aaaa loooot of cuts and bruises because damn I hate you, Vanish! And yeah, asshole, we know the yellow cabs, do you think we are stupid? However why you know it, its probably the exact same way how we know it; infront of the TV, U arrogant bastard! But the only difference between us two and you is when you watch something interesting or cool on the old tele, you see yourself doing it, you SOB trash! Just because you can memorize the words from anything doesnt mean you persé did them you freaking lunatic! And also, you have never been to New York, You havent even been outside your freaking doorstep since you quit school two years ago and the only logical reason on how you can possibly know the name of the New York Rangers´s home arena, is from last week`s 90 minutes documentary on NHL´s history, which you saw with US, you annoying dill-hole!!"
try it sometime when one of your friends just go on and on, you can almost make them cry when they realize they have been made a fool!
But beware, most of these guys are the ones who steals their father´s rifle and just go mental in some school!
Goooooood, I hate those guys soo much, noticed that anyone? But you gotta give them cred for coming up on all the shit and also they are very good with memorizing small ass details, too bad they didnt focused their one of a kind- memory on something worth while because you people with good memory are a very rare group, indeed!
OK, damn this wasnt at all what I wanted to write about, fuck.. Alright, one more long text cant hurt me, I dont think I can get too many complaints though and thats the beauty with not having so many readers, its impossible to get many complaints, becuase if you are not dumb you can probably work out for yourself that the number of complaints are in direct proportion to the number of readers! so cleared out that buisness for you! Okey, complaints or no complaints, I will divide this text into two different ones cause, its too F-ing looong..So this one stops here and now and the other will be right above this one, so scroll that shit!
Peace
onsdag 29 oktober 2008
Timing is crucial when coming up with new ideas!
Its been a while since I dashed down a couple of lines here and I would have loved to say that I havent had the time but that would be the biggest lie and lying is bad... Its jst that there are so little going on and its hard to find the great muse and in these days, muses dont grow on trees nor bushes! There are a lot of things we dont do or can do as human beings and we correct each other and stand in line without complaining because we just want to pay our dues and move on...Nothing of the extraordinary can touch us anymore! We are very hard to flatter and to impress, because we have seen it all up to this point, whether its a guy screaming violently to his cat or a kind of fat and wierdlooking guy who amazes us when he starts to sing, we´ve seen it all!
During my life things has changed drastically, I mean computers, cellphones, microwaves, bio and hybrid cars didnt exist in the late 80´s when I was born, but now they are practically a certainty for every person..except for the hybrid cars, even with the great deal that with a hybrid car you can park almost every where in our country, for free, people still dont get them..its easier to just go along with the old crappy environment killing car we always have driven.. Dont get me wrong here, I am not a greenpeace, Save the Wales, kind of guy I am just saying things have changed a lot in a short period of time! And what if we should have reacted as we do to some new stuff with all the new and developing stuff coming out? Just totally deny their existance because things are fine as they are! Well, if that would have been the case Adolf Hitler wouldnt have gotten to the power as easy because damn did he have a great luck with the timing of his "Coming out of the closet, to take over all the god damn countries in Europe- kind of a thing".. I mean the people were dying for a change with no jobs, no money and no patience left at all! Although many of them knew that his solution for change wasnt the best recepy but it was almost the only way out..I say almost because at the time people were fucking terrafied of the "Red cape" sweaping over the skies. So hmm communism or the nazis!?? and the fear of being a part of the well oiled red machine made them choose a time filled with wiping almost an entire population, Yeah great choice, sidestepping what could have been a tragedy and choose a violent little angry dude with a lot of issues as leader aaand in charge of the arsenal, instead!
But yeah, what if Germany at that period of time were a country with stability and good economy and the people were happy with things as they were? They would have laughed the little man right in his face as hard as they could.."Whaaat, no Adolf, why the hell would we want that? We are fine as we are, we dont need to execute millions of people, they havent done anything wrong maan! We are all happy with good jobs and a stabile market, what are you trying to change and why? The jews!? What have they done? Nothing bad has happen, what are you accusing them for, Adolf? But maybe he is right, the jews are probably responsible for the current situation...So, yeah lets make a celebration day for the Jews, because if they are responsible for how we live our lives now, they really deserve an awesome fiesta!"
How great would that have been? But sadly we all know that little poorlooking Adolf had a better timing than that, which sucks donkey... But how long can we keep upgrading ourselves? I think we are going to that place very soon when everybody is just fine with things as they are and move along paying our regular dues, although perhaps with some new and improved flarnerubgsdg... Yeah, dont look at me, the thing I am talking about hasnt been made yet, can you blame me for the spelling? How the hell can I spell a word that hasnt been invented yet?... Stupid spell- check with your red underlines...
Aaanyway!
During my life things has changed drastically, I mean computers, cellphones, microwaves, bio and hybrid cars didnt exist in the late 80´s when I was born, but now they are practically a certainty for every person..except for the hybrid cars, even with the great deal that with a hybrid car you can park almost every where in our country, for free, people still dont get them..its easier to just go along with the old crappy environment killing car we always have driven.. Dont get me wrong here, I am not a greenpeace, Save the Wales, kind of guy I am just saying things have changed a lot in a short period of time! And what if we should have reacted as we do to some new stuff with all the new and developing stuff coming out? Just totally deny their existance because things are fine as they are! Well, if that would have been the case Adolf Hitler wouldnt have gotten to the power as easy because damn did he have a great luck with the timing of his "Coming out of the closet, to take over all the god damn countries in Europe- kind of a thing".. I mean the people were dying for a change with no jobs, no money and no patience left at all! Although many of them knew that his solution for change wasnt the best recepy but it was almost the only way out..I say almost because at the time people were fucking terrafied of the "Red cape" sweaping over the skies. So hmm communism or the nazis!?? and the fear of being a part of the well oiled red machine made them choose a time filled with wiping almost an entire population, Yeah great choice, sidestepping what could have been a tragedy and choose a violent little angry dude with a lot of issues as leader aaand in charge of the arsenal, instead!
But yeah, what if Germany at that period of time were a country with stability and good economy and the people were happy with things as they were? They would have laughed the little man right in his face as hard as they could.."Whaaat, no Adolf, why the hell would we want that? We are fine as we are, we dont need to execute millions of people, they havent done anything wrong maan! We are all happy with good jobs and a stabile market, what are you trying to change and why? The jews!? What have they done? Nothing bad has happen, what are you accusing them for, Adolf? But maybe he is right, the jews are probably responsible for the current situation...So, yeah lets make a celebration day for the Jews, because if they are responsible for how we live our lives now, they really deserve an awesome fiesta!"
How great would that have been? But sadly we all know that little poorlooking Adolf had a better timing than that, which sucks donkey... But how long can we keep upgrading ourselves? I think we are going to that place very soon when everybody is just fine with things as they are and move along paying our regular dues, although perhaps with some new and improved flarnerubgsdg... Yeah, dont look at me, the thing I am talking about hasnt been made yet, can you blame me for the spelling? How the hell can I spell a word that hasnt been invented yet?... Stupid spell- check with your red underlines...
Aaanyway!
torsdag 9 oktober 2008
Drunken dudes cant fight crime, but damn it, we can apologize for it afterwards direct from our non- existing spines!
A lot of the places around the world there is a social proudness among the people a k a being patriotic, and for almoost everyone, that is a good thing! You have your country´s flag hanging on your porch and you can speak freely about your love for your own country! You can display it on shirts and other clothing and it just means that you like your homecountry and that you are proud of being a citizen in, yes you guessed right, what you call home!
Buuut, as a general swede, you know that isnt the case for us... having any sign of our swedish national flag on us or around us tells the rest of the mob; you are a rascist! now why is that? How spineless are we in this country? well, I am gonna tell you, we are so spineless as a group of people that we have invented the word, "lagom" and that word´s meaning is very hard to describe to other nationalities, because no other group of people has that word in their vocabulary, why? dont know... I think it´s because we are so neutral (well, we ourself claim that to be the truth because everybody knows that we havent been in any war for over 200 years or so, but honestly we cant call ourself neutral because we have been involved with one side or the other when the world wars were upon us..we helped with transportation of weapons and helped the nazis transport jews so we are not so neutral as we say we are, but whatever...) We are neutral to that extent that we have hard time picking sides in social environments and a lot of the times when a suggestion is brought on a friend group, many of the answers will be: "I dont know, whatever you feel like..." When we really do care and then bitch about it 30 minutes later over the fact we didnt got our way...Spineless is what it is!
But yeeees, the word "lagom" is saying that you are kind of something..like for instance; "how do you feel? response can be, and it´s totally gramatically legit; "lagom good".. you can put it infront of an emotion and that says that your are kind of good, not bad but not fine..follow me! but it can also be a way of saying something is just right, for instance; "Wow this soup was "lagom" hot! In that case the soup wasnt too hot nore too cold for eating it, it was just right!
So yeah, swedes are like the last bear in the story of goldylocks and the three bears!
But still, I love Sweden and the people here, becuase we are kind of like the little nice kid that hears all the time like "yeah this kid is going somewhere" because we have been rather successfull in world events such as sport, music industry, a couple of great actors and we have by comparison a pretty good and stabil society with our democracy although we should stop the foolish antiquated system of having a royal family! cmon, do we really need a king that is half retarded anyway? the old man cant speak nor read, what the hell? He couldnt even say the right country he was in while giving a speech, for god sake... Although the royal family sometimes works in our favour due to the fact that they are a great advertising pillar for our country! They cash in loads of money for our benefit and gives Sweden a face out to the world(although not a great face out, we can do better..ok, one of the princesses is hoooot so why not huh?)
Aaaanyway, we are that kid who is pretty successfull but still gets the biggest beating when coming home.. And by that I dont mean that we have problems with home abuses in Sweden I just mean that nothing is perfect! The swedish community and our people are very laid back, dont want to take up so much space and we are the ones who gets the line "Huh, Can you Speak Up please!??" and unsecure and apoligize a lot is our thing you know, buuut the second we get alcoholic beverages in our bodily systems, wooow loook the fuck out! We are obnoxious and loud as hell! We drink insanely big quantities of alcohol, it´s just pure old crazy! I dont know how much we consume every year, look it up yourself and you are going to get a biiig surprise.. Sweden, Norway,Denmark and Finland together go under the name "The Alcoholic Belt" (What a justice- league huh? a couple of drunken dudes just tearing stuff up, that is a preeetty big contradiction!)..very flattering indeed..And what makes it even more ridiculous is that in Sweden you cant even buy the stronger spirit in your everyday shop, no the government owns that market!! Isnt that insane? it would be more logic to hear that information with "yeah, alcohol is soo cheap and you can get it wherever you are most of the hours of the 24-hour period, so what else should we do!?" But that´s not even correct! We drink a great number of strong liquor, and this is of course a changeable variable but let´s say from when you are 15 years old, and you can only get it in one shop which closes 18.00 on the weekdays and 14.00 on saturdays and it´s not even that cheap!
That´s not even close to being logic...why do we consume so much alcohol!??
Aaaah, Sweden, I am so proud of our country of spineless,conflict-frightened "neutral" hobby- alcoholics! "Uuh, Hey my name is Hannes and I am a Swede.."- "heeeey Hannes".. "uuh, I have been a Swede my entire life since I escaped from my 9 months isolation, and I dont think I can quit this habit, "No Sir-iy Bob!" (I am not drunk now, you say dont drink and drive, I say dont drink and write, it will be messy indeed, I was just looking to see if a quote from little Elaine in Seinfeld would cheer anyone up..A Well, I like it, so just go away!)
Peace
Buuut, as a general swede, you know that isnt the case for us... having any sign of our swedish national flag on us or around us tells the rest of the mob; you are a rascist! now why is that? How spineless are we in this country? well, I am gonna tell you, we are so spineless as a group of people that we have invented the word, "lagom" and that word´s meaning is very hard to describe to other nationalities, because no other group of people has that word in their vocabulary, why? dont know... I think it´s because we are so neutral (well, we ourself claim that to be the truth because everybody knows that we havent been in any war for over 200 years or so, but honestly we cant call ourself neutral because we have been involved with one side or the other when the world wars were upon us..we helped with transportation of weapons and helped the nazis transport jews so we are not so neutral as we say we are, but whatever...) We are neutral to that extent that we have hard time picking sides in social environments and a lot of the times when a suggestion is brought on a friend group, many of the answers will be: "I dont know, whatever you feel like..." When we really do care and then bitch about it 30 minutes later over the fact we didnt got our way...Spineless is what it is!
But yeeees, the word "lagom" is saying that you are kind of something..like for instance; "how do you feel? response can be, and it´s totally gramatically legit; "lagom good".. you can put it infront of an emotion and that says that your are kind of good, not bad but not fine..follow me! but it can also be a way of saying something is just right, for instance; "Wow this soup was "lagom" hot! In that case the soup wasnt too hot nore too cold for eating it, it was just right!
So yeah, swedes are like the last bear in the story of goldylocks and the three bears!
But still, I love Sweden and the people here, becuase we are kind of like the little nice kid that hears all the time like "yeah this kid is going somewhere" because we have been rather successfull in world events such as sport, music industry, a couple of great actors and we have by comparison a pretty good and stabil society with our democracy although we should stop the foolish antiquated system of having a royal family! cmon, do we really need a king that is half retarded anyway? the old man cant speak nor read, what the hell? He couldnt even say the right country he was in while giving a speech, for god sake... Although the royal family sometimes works in our favour due to the fact that they are a great advertising pillar for our country! They cash in loads of money for our benefit and gives Sweden a face out to the world(although not a great face out, we can do better..ok, one of the princesses is hoooot so why not huh?)
Aaaanyway, we are that kid who is pretty successfull but still gets the biggest beating when coming home.. And by that I dont mean that we have problems with home abuses in Sweden I just mean that nothing is perfect! The swedish community and our people are very laid back, dont want to take up so much space and we are the ones who gets the line "Huh, Can you Speak Up please!??" and unsecure and apoligize a lot is our thing you know, buuut the second we get alcoholic beverages in our bodily systems, wooow loook the fuck out! We are obnoxious and loud as hell! We drink insanely big quantities of alcohol, it´s just pure old crazy! I dont know how much we consume every year, look it up yourself and you are going to get a biiig surprise.. Sweden, Norway,Denmark and Finland together go under the name "The Alcoholic Belt" (What a justice- league huh? a couple of drunken dudes just tearing stuff up, that is a preeetty big contradiction!)..very flattering indeed..And what makes it even more ridiculous is that in Sweden you cant even buy the stronger spirit in your everyday shop, no the government owns that market!! Isnt that insane? it would be more logic to hear that information with "yeah, alcohol is soo cheap and you can get it wherever you are most of the hours of the 24-hour period, so what else should we do!?" But that´s not even correct! We drink a great number of strong liquor, and this is of course a changeable variable but let´s say from when you are 15 years old, and you can only get it in one shop which closes 18.00 on the weekdays and 14.00 on saturdays and it´s not even that cheap!
That´s not even close to being logic...why do we consume so much alcohol!??
Aaaah, Sweden, I am so proud of our country of spineless,conflict-frightened "neutral" hobby- alcoholics! "Uuh, Hey my name is Hannes and I am a Swede.."- "heeeey Hannes".. "uuh, I have been a Swede my entire life since I escaped from my 9 months isolation, and I dont think I can quit this habit, "No Sir-iy Bob!" (I am not drunk now, you say dont drink and drive, I say dont drink and write, it will be messy indeed, I was just looking to see if a quote from little Elaine in Seinfeld would cheer anyone up..A Well, I like it, so just go away!)
Peace
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