heard and written on the train

I just realized being on the commute train without earphones after 2 years of every day having music in my ears is horrible. Stupid people with high caliber moronic conversations! For instance, at least here in sthlm, most people know they dont have any interesting topics so instead of doing the natural thing and shutting up they start complaining about the most random stuff they can think of. Im not talking about cold talk- complaints like how bull the weather is or about how poorly their football team played yesterday no no no waay more stupid than that... like standing on a crowded train and complain about how crowded the train in fact is!!! In my mind that is so remarkably dumb that I actuqlly started to laugh! Because if you're complaining about something you yourself are contributing to whilst talking about it; you are an idiot! Its not a fucking human right we're talking about! I mean you can of course wish for something but there is a difference between being so annoyed to the extent that you feel the need to spew out your opinion in stranger's faces than to wish the situation being different! I mean u could say; "the commute train is great, its a cheap and a convenient option to get to work every day but I just wish they made trains with more seats and space so everyone can be comfortable on the ride! " Not; "this sucks its sooo crowded I hate taking the train its just awful I hate it!" and still do it every day of every month of every fucking year! Because, again in my mind; the only natural reasonable reaction to the crowded trains is to just not taking it anymore cause you "hate" it and also if you wanna fix and find a solution to the problem you can easily help to the situation and taking your ass out of the equation; one more seat vacated and I can bet a lot of money that not a single person nor the train would miss your negative mind, face and body! Just get OFF!!

watched from abroad

okey seriously now... Racism is never justified we all know that and I hope you all know that I know that little fact! But if there ever were variations out there of racism that is more or less understandable there is a certain racism I will never understand and that is what I encountered several months ago...If you are a white male human being in North America standing outside an indian deli and screaming at the top of your lung; “You red dotted fuckers are stealing our jobs, my rights and this country!” you are the biggest idiot on so many fucking levels it's an insult to every homo sapien in the fucking universe! 

Because one; You stole this country from the get go. Two, and I'm just assuming here; you deeply believe in a god and you have a deep religious spirit you of aall people at least should understand other people who are practicing the same way of life as you are even though in this case it's a bulls eye right in their forehead and believing cows are holy, but you of all people must understand what he is coming from! Three you still have your rights because back in the day some old country- stealer realized the importance of documenting so they went  Humm I think we need to write this down guys, for all the people like us to come in the future never minding in how many different variations you would reproduce and just fucking create generations of stupid that would interpret aaaall of these words wrongly solely based from the situation he is standing in right now!!

so what are you left with? This inbred standing in the middle of the street because he has nothing else to do between junior juniors nap and his eating so he screams the dumbest things you can imagine... You're taking our country!! Our land!!- you are a waste of genes buddy...This entire country is resting on a foundation that if you have enough people and boats and less illness on board this land is OURS! That's what I'm saying the northern american racism is, if there were any sort of degree of racism, yours is the most idiotic ever!
You are here simply because when you got here the people already living here had a very free spirited life! no sense of ownership, no jobs, no money, no obligations besides surviving which meant hunting animals for food and women to fuck!  and the only hierarchy they had was based on age and experience and that too makes sense because it's noticeable who's in charge then! the under breath mumbles and old wrinkles and the huge bird ass on their head, oh yeah this guy is the chief no doubt about it! Then white europeans from across the pond came here and started to take advantage of this situation and started to just make shit up and of course to their own advantages!

Who wouldn't? If you are ever in a situation where you make up the rules at the same time being a participant whom later on have to obey and follow these rules, you will definitely forge those rules and laws to benefit you and the ones you love because doing the opposite it's just dumb! If you grew up in a home where you couldn't just buy shit to have fun you know exactly what I'm talking about! what are we gonna do today? I don't know...lets make something up ourselves..a game! If you even better, single handedly, are going to make a game up you more so than ever make the rules leaning a wiii bit  to your own advantage...or not even that, you make the rules so your own obvious disadvantages won't cripple you entirely! Take basketball for instance! Why is it still more or the same value of points depending on the distance from the basket for an outside shot than a dunk? think about it. It's waaay harder to jump up high in the air after running past guys who wants nothing else than what you are holding in your hands right now and stretch out mid air to slam a ball in a basket that's over three metres above ground than it is to throw something standing still on a target that's not even moving!!! Every day of the week that's harder work...So why isn't the point system in proportion to the level of difficulty? Huumm because maybe there was a short fucking white dude playing but who also had a saying in the human invention that is the game and the rules it should follow from that point on! Yeah this, it's three points! and the thing you are doing y'know really showing how much we can push ourselves on physical levels is naaw two points! But see what I'm doing here? Definitely more points y'know what, actually see where my foot is? draw a line riight here boy! And call it white man line! Huurrh Bill not a cool name. Lets call it a three pointer line! Because if you make it it's three points!!-why? because it's further away from the target.. uhuuh uhuh but you don't have to do anything really physically challenging to complete the task? I know but I'm fucking small and these blacks are huuuge it's way easier for them! Well maybe you should have thought about that little fact that homo sapien isn't a fucking one size suite! We come in diversity so I guess you should just deal with that and just throw more balls than this guy over here JUMPS!! IT'S STILL EASIER THAN WHAT HE IS DOING! look with your eyes and think with your brain surely you would agree it's harder to touch the rim with your finger than it is to throw a hollow circle from further away!!! Right?!? The words founding fathers should be the biggest clue to what we are dealing with here. Founding!! Fathers!! There was a group of men from overseas whom which from the start wanted an easier and freer life I mean that's why they LEFT! These men came together 237 years ago, like- minded I might add, and founded laws and rules the society we have now rests on and they werent exactly impartial to the results of these decisions!


So there is nothing that can ever justify you screaming words like “they”, “stealing country” and “american rights” not even a lot of time has past since that day so you can't even blame it on old stupid knowledge thought out and read from words in stone on a wall in a cave no it was ink and paper so what aaaall you really can scream is; “I love the fact how you other immigrants learned from us to steal and lie in order to stay and thrive here in this big beautiful country of OURS!! Good Night

It needs a wrapper NOW!!

I just landed at Arlanda. I was going from my hometown to my new hometown since 2 years back.
The flight takes roughly 50 minutes and I gotta say I think I found the time limit as well for my patience.
I always book a seat in the back cause wierdly enough most of the people book their seats in the front of the plane which I really dont understand at all...Isnt actually safer to be in the back of the plane IF we are going down? Besides that its way more convenient to get on and off the plane if you´re seated in the back; always faster. But I dont really do it for the safety at all...Its for the convenience and in reality for the most part you dont have to sit next to anyone especially on the evening flights! So I did.

I get on. Its me and one more dude sharing 6 seats in a row. Excellent!
Right before we are about to take off  I see a stewardess coming up with a kid infront of her and all I was thinking was "please tell me its a little person you are about to throw off the plane for being inebriated or something...Sadly I was wrong! I mean you rarely wish for that but why couldnt it have been a drunk midget just this once? But that wasnt the case and of course she was pushing that fat kid towards the row I was sitting in. Why would this scenario play out in any other way?
While the staff is herding this lazy non- to barely- feet lifting kid towards my seat I can see she is chewing her god damn teeth off with a pink and huge bubble gum...Fuck! I know this. I recognize this. I all of a sudden got talents of reading the future and the next 55 min was painted infront of my eyes and three doors of possibilities emerged;

door nr.1; I say no and point to another row of seats not even looking up from my laptop.
door nr.2; I just get up and change to another seat myself with complete disregard for the given seat number mostly because it looks like even the staff is now disregarding that fact with this loud chewing Umpa Lumpa.
door nr.3; Be a good and polite citizen and also passenger and just "Oh IM sorry" and let her in to the window seat but of course the whole way just hating this fucking kid ( I mean I would prefer not even thinking about slapping a kid much less doing it so Im really starting to hate this situation) more and more for each time unit you prefer goes by until I land and smoke 3 cigarettes back to back all the while not even opening my eyes....

Im a Swede what the fuck do you think I did?

So my curious mind starts to wonder, what the fuck is wrong with this kid? I mean not really by any physical features but by this entire spectacle that just took place; its gotta be something wrong with it.
Yes It. I dont know the kid´s name and every other (nick)name I can think for it is rooted in evil.
Becuase I was thinking this cant be the regular procedure of flying a kid without adult supervision. I mean they still have a ticket with a seat number right? So why cant we seat them first? But in this case they werent so I was thinking this is a family member of probably the pilot but definitely someone from the staff is related to this Chucky with chewing jaws of a llama and also future incidents will confirm that theory. But they are not relevant to the story so I choose not to mention those details that makes me positive to believe she is flying for free...

Im sitting with my laptop and earphones are plugged in and Beatles is streaming out...
Even though I have the volume setting on max I hear her every fourth minute popping huge pink bubbles so Im just guessing they are loud. I hear them. So everyone must hear it even better and also should annoy them even harder. But again, we are mostly Swedes on this plane and god damn it how polite we are in public situations its almost rude actually...I mean we cant be this polite all the time...at least not willingly...So that concludes us being so unwillingly polite in public situations that it becomes rude. Swedes are rudely polite!
Nobody even makes the slightest cough of annoynce...This must be the same feeling people got when the only rule for the next king to be elected was the son of the passed king, no matter how old he was...So you end up with a province in China being runned by a fucking kid with a sceptor and crown but not even developed all his teeth yet...

I started to think happy thoughts like hey at least its not a screaming 3 year old...So that thought started to calm me down when all of a sudden the bubble gum- smacking was accompanied by shrugs of some kind or a tic if you will. JEEZES whats up with this kid? I take a glance in my perifial and now the kid has thrown her jacket over her head much like a tent and I start to slowly realize she cant help herself. Something is wrong and maybe all the other passengers has already come to this realization and therefor cant get angry with her. I on the other hand cannot get passed the smacking and bubble- blowing which always ends with a huge "POP" every other minute now right next to me!

Can I say something? What can I say without scarring this kid for the rest of its life?
"Im really sorry but you are very annoying. Your parents must have a tough time and I can totally understand why you are flying alone...Either they have sent you away to go live somewhere else or you are all flying somewhere but they couldnt even be on the same aircraft as you so they get a little mini vacation from YOU! Or you are the daughter of the pilot and you could easily be travelling with him in the cock pit but he is afraid that he will intentionally crash the plane after being airbourne for 13 minutes with her blowing bubbles and twitching behind him!
I know honey, you have recently gotten the hang of blowing bubbles with your gum but I can guarentee you that nobody is impressed and therefor you should stop parading this skill...its not like you are bouncing the gum on your nose before you catch it in your mouth still in the form of a bubble! You are just destroying the same thing over and over again. Thats not impressive.
Thats just what any domineering extremist is doing all around the world... well besides the "over and over again"... They seldom get the chance of destroying anything materialistic a second time. Its kind of a one time-gig-solution in that line of work! But it kind of applies here so I just pointed and shouted "TERRORIST" and knocked her out cold!
Thats the first time I have been on a plane where people breaks out in applause before we´ve even landed!

Yours Sincerely
"The bitterest man in the living room...and plane...."

Cat person-person or a simple dog?

And I woke up in the middle of the night at the horrible loud noises of not just one dog but three fucking dogs just shouting in the night for no appearent reason! Then I dozely realize that I´ve seen a woman recently moving in across the street and then I didnt really pay attention but now in hine sight I realize that she carried in not one but three fucking dog food bowls and they were crazy big now when I think about it. This was three days ago. Why have they played the waiting game on me? dont they know I can kill them very easily? And also that people tend to eat dogs? I have always been under the impression that dogs know that they are inferior to us. A dog is dying before a human in every situation or scenario, always. In e-v-e-r-y possible event, a dog will go before a human. Hey I like dogs! Im just stating the facts here. Last creature standing and breathing will not be the same creature that smell the other sex of the same specie in the ass just as a sign of hello! That just will never happen. Ever.

But as I said here on the fourth night I´m screaming "For Gods sake can your dogs be any louder? in front of her opened door and dumb looking face expression. -"Aah cmon they are just talking" with that ridiculous smile on her face! She answered. Yeah okay to you it might sound like talking because of the little detail of "love" you have towards them. I dont have that. But to the rest of the world its loud noises. Called "barking".
There is a reason why its called "Barking" and not "serenating", its fucking annoying and to top it all of its even loud barks 5 o´clock in the fucking morning! Big difference I gotta say.
And further more I have a huge hang over even larger than your three Lucifer-sent bitches actually so pretty please. Tell them to whisper the rest of their 45 minutes tea party before I go asian on them and have a fucking morning eating frenzy!

When people ask me if I´m a dog- or a cat- person I soley go by the person owning the animal.
So in those cases cat persons are infinate cooler....Okay Okay Lets take the lonely single middle aged women out of the equation first but besides them cat persons are infinate cooler than dog owners!
Although dogs themselves are much of the time a more intelligent creature than cats are; Dog owners however are sometimes pretty stupid and should not even have a dog in the first place...Im getting off topic!
"Oh he just wanna say hello!!" Or "He is just playing?" Oh really? cause it feels a lot like dog teeth burying into my left calf!! Fun PLAYING with you!!
I`m gonna take my viatnemese friend to the park one day with a barbeque grill. A woman screaming "what are you doing?!??" Oh no no sorry...my little friend here is just saying hello! repeatedly in a "chewing" manour. And nooo his name is not Chewing....

this whole thing is of course just a dumb whole joke....nothing of this has of course happened...
Im guessing not many even reads this...so never mind. All of this happened....translated for some reason...
Aaanyway...

No Sir you have too watch while we are crashing and turn OFF your electrical device...2011??

I was on a flight recently and still the drills while on the plane amazes me everytime. First of all; the electric devices has to be shutted off during take off and landing. Really? What can possibly happen that includes a Boeing, a crash in the Atlantic and my iphone? I cant see that scenario at all. I never shut mine off during take off nor landing. Why? Simply if we are about to go down I can go: "wow what do you know, my listening to metallica DID actually kill 60 or so people; my grandparents was right all along; Rock is the work of the devil who knew!? "I shouldnt have doubted you guys I should have turned it off during landing, my bad, guess I got a lethal apple, much like in the bible.... But then again in that scenario it was except for the lethal apple also two nudists and a snake not me stinking like a tequila- factory, a senior citizen for a stewardess, a giant airplane and an iphone...so a couple off different details but still..

But the most bisarre situation I was in during a take off on a flight to Malmö. It was sunny and cloudfree in the middle of the day and I had a bitching hang over. I had the window- seat and I decided to take down the window-blind so I wouldnt burn my eyes out of their sockets; who wouldnt right? Seems like a perfect rational idea but appearently NOOO no no no... A bitter stewardess who seen here share of sky and I actually think when she steps of this plane she will step of completely. She basically rushed forward over the poor elderly couple that was in seat D and E to say, already irritated probably over the fact she was already in her late thirtys when the airplane was first invented. -"Would you please be cooperative and take up your blind while taking off; SIR!? I didnt want an argument right there while my head was imploding, I was more busy asking myself why they invented the 1 litre bottles of vodka... So I pulled it up but WHAT!?? What the fuck does my blind being down or up has anything to do with the pilot trying to straight out the giant tin bird a couple of thousand metres over the ground. I mean he is not sitting next to me steering this giant Boeing leaning his head on my shoulder going: "hey hey hey pull that up; I cant see where we going!"

So in case of an accident with the plane; I really cant see why I have to watch the plane plumbing down to certain death. I mean if I have a couple of minutes left to live isnt it my option what I wanna SEE infront of me? Maybe I do not wish to watch the Atlantic coming faster and faster closer and closer before it swallows the plane completely? I think knowing is enough. Isnt it bad enough I am certainly going to die I have to be no blind- front seat of the whole goddamn spectacle which is a scenario that becomes reality cause someone else fucked up! I mean the food is crap but I can live with that if you just dont crash the mother F-in airplane, thank you very much!

And really arnt we passed the whole applause scene everytime we successfully complete a landing? Who are we clapping for, really? The pilots? I mean this is their job, the pilots, they are suppossed to master this procedure quite well. But If instead a 75 year old man on a peanut allergy- reaction lands the plane with no harm nor foul then I would clap the hell out for him but if there is a pilot with at least 50 landings in his life cant do his job without an old cheering I would get to stand next him during next flight and slap him repeatedly and giving him wet willys... If he lands then break out the ol' babypowder cause this man deserves an applause...

It cant be a clapping for ourselves surviving yet another landing. I dont know about you But I have never seen survivors clapping. A woman right after a rape and attemptive murder goes:" WHOO ALRIGHT *CLAP CLAP CLAP* I MADE it, yeaaah! So it must be for the pilots... This is the half of what they do; landing. The other half; TAKE OFF! if they cant do this proper they shouldnt be pilots, during this material I was simultanously trying to come up with a line of work that is worthy an applause after they were done and except for show business I think a bartender. Why? Simply cause that is what I do and I fucking want my applauses, god damn pilots taking all the cheering while working... Douches...

vart tog du vägen?

Saknaden av dig är så oerhört smärtande stor
samtidigt känner jag en stark närvaro av dig min fina bror
Du hade gillat att veva o sjunga i mörkret av gårdagen, såg dig slå med i trumslagen
frågan ska inte ställas varför du inte var där
utan i huvudet nu hur du alltid är uppe här
mer lr mindre slåendes på knapparna av smärta
dem är både röda o gröna som svart o vitt är Alpha o Omega,
"Dom hade mycket att säga" sa Andreas Grega
han kunde inte ha mer rätt o gränsen mellan ledsamhet o ilska
har visats sig vara hårfin
men det som får vågskålen att tippa o stjälpa över
är min ovillkorliga kärlek för dig o vår familj,
din eviga o envisa jakt efter ett eller två fyrklöver;
är även den så abrubt slut och över
men det som aldrig kommer ha ett sista kapitel
är det episka innanför loben o hjärtat hos Gunnar o din yngsta bror,
din söta son, din starka far o din vackra mor

Vila i frid Rickard Berg 24/12 1976- 29/6 2010

Are you afraid of a spider? I am afraid of hanging myself...

someone told me long ago ( "there´s a calm before the storm, I knoow, Have you ever seen the rain? coming down a sunny day!?" A Creedence clearwater revival- line from the song "Have you ever seen the rain?" came to mind when I wrote the first line in this post) "You are only as old as you feel" ...thats a bunch of crap by the way... But age is a funny thing when you think about it...Almost everyone want to be young(er) than what they actually are but to the extent of that case is physically impossible we settle for feeling younger. Beauty-products and cosmetics have never been so popular and the business for it is climbing higher and reaching new sale- records for each day that goes by...



BUT I am looking forward being old (not as a breathing vegetable but a healthy old man is going to be fucking sweeeeet! I see myself in the future and a layer of harmony is painted over my face and I feel good! Not only do I look forward for my years to come, also I feel much older than I actually am! I have to remind myself that I am not even 2 years passed dos decenios... I started to think about it and my mind branched out for the reason why I feel so much older... Maybe its because almost my entire youth; older people have been surrounding me, much older siblings, a lot of friends are older than myself...

Can it be that I got a lot of responsible at an early age? Only me and my mother, after my brother got older and moved out so I was in some extent "the man of the house" and I think that has shaped me into the person I am today!
"Hey, lets check out this place, its awesome and great bartenders!" getting there... "Can I see some ID? My 30 some years old friend: "Oh crap, thats right you are only 21!"




This is not a crying message saying I didnt had a good childhood, cause I did, it was awesome!
Due to some reasons I matured mentally rather fast and my verbal skills improved quickly!
So my favorite things in school? Oral exams and presentation!


I remember my first oral exam like it was yesterday...didnt study at all until the evening before the presentation! I picked my subject and learned my material by heart and stood up infront of the class saying:
"I may not be a great thinker or a world leader, I dont read a lot...or or run very fast but damn it: I can TALK!" I didnt get a single laugh which was horrible but then I started my presentation:
"Today I am going to talk about spiders! Spiders: bla bla bla bla"...I may be a talker but my memory cant save me out of shit!

I will take this moment to say this isnt at all what I was going to write about, god DAMN IT!
my mind wanders completely outside of the abstract lines that is my chain of thought, that is not a good style to have....





We are supposed to be a rather intelligent specie, we humans but we have some rather weird fixations and irrational thoughts and ideas! the proof of that is all the fears and phobias we have for different things that cant harm us in any way, but instead of thinking rational thoughts like: "Uuuuh, this is strange behavior I am pulling right now, this is nonsense; that little thing cant hurt me!" buut noooo, instead we climb up on the invention we created for sitting on and yell: "A MOUSE KIIIILL IT!!" : Very irrational and unnecessary reactions I must say!


Our biggest fears today has been listed and its quite estonishing on how we have answered!
Number one fear: "Talking infront of a big crowd!" THAT is number one fear for humans? HIGHLY retarded! Fear is supposed to be controlled by life- threatening situations! For instance everybody should be very frightened if we are faced with a crocodile or a shark right beneath our feet while swimming! Even being afraid of swimming is more rational than being afraid of standing up infront of a couple of meat- popsicles just like yourself, cause then we are in a habitat we cant function fully to our potential in! Thats understandable: " Hey Fred, wanna go for a swim? -No I dont want to be in that big ocean cause I am a land- walking creature and I dont belong in that! -Cant you swim? -Yes, I can swim but that doesnt matter cause every fucking thing in there is doing it better than I do it AND they LIVE IN THERE you knucklehead!!



So whats second place then? Of course: Death! NUMBER TWO? that is fucking crazy retarded!
We are afraid of dying, why!?? Because we love being alive! We like our lives and we love breathing and we laugh our way through it...And we dont want to exchange that for lying 6 feet under dirt and soil....but of course, we obviously dont like breathing as much as we like shutting the hell up in pure lonely isolation according to our fears and phobias!



So according to our biggest fears "On a funeral; we are rather lying in the casket than doing the eulogy!!" / Jerry Seinfeld Homofuckingsapiens, god damn it...