Drunken dudes cant fight crime, but damn it, we can apologize for it afterwards direct from our non- existing spines!

A lot of the places around the world there is a social proudness among the people a k a being patriotic, and for almoost everyone, that is a good thing! You have your country´s flag hanging on your porch and you can speak freely about your love for your own country! You can display it on shirts and other clothing and it just means that you like your homecountry and that you are proud of being a citizen in, yes you guessed right, what you call home!

Buuut, as a general swede, you know that isnt the case for us... having any sign of our swedish national flag on us or around us tells the rest of the mob; you are a rascist! now why is that? How spineless are we in this country? well, I am gonna tell you, we are so spineless as a group of people that we have invented the word, "lagom" and that word´s meaning is very hard to describe to other nationalities, because no other group of people has that word in their vocabulary, why? dont know... I think it´s because we are so neutral (well, we ourself claim that to be the truth because everybody knows that we havent been in any war for over 200 years or so, but honestly we cant call ourself neutral because we have been involved with one side or the other when the world wars were upon us..we helped with transportation of weapons and helped the nazis transport jews so we are not so neutral as we say we are, but whatever...) We are neutral to that extent that we have hard time picking sides in social environments and a lot of the times when a suggestion is brought on a friend group, many of the answers will be: "I dont know, whatever you feel like..." When we really do care and then bitch about it 30 minutes later over the fact we didnt got our way...Spineless is what it is!

But yeeees, the word "lagom" is saying that you are kind of something..like for instance; "how do you feel? response can be, and it´s totally gramatically legit; "lagom good".. you can put it infront of an emotion and that says that your are kind of good, not bad but not fine..follow me! but it can also be a way of saying something is just right, for instance; "Wow this soup was "lagom" hot! In that case the soup wasnt too hot nore too cold for eating it, it was just right!
So yeah, swedes are like the last bear in the story of goldylocks and the three bears!


But still, I love Sweden and the people here, becuase we are kind of like the little nice kid that hears all the time like "yeah this kid is going somewhere" because we have been rather successfull in world events such as sport, music industry, a couple of great actors and we have by comparison a pretty good and stabil society with our democracy although we should stop the foolish antiquated system of having a royal family! cmon, do we really need a king that is half retarded anyway? the old man cant speak nor read, what the hell? He couldnt even say the right country he was in while giving a speech, for god sake... Although the royal family sometimes works in our favour due to the fact that they are a great advertising pillar for our country! They cash in loads of money for our benefit and gives Sweden a face out to the world(although not a great face out, we can do better..ok, one of the princesses is hoooot so why not huh?)

Aaaanyway, we are that kid who is pretty successfull but still gets the biggest beating when coming home.. And by that I dont mean that we have problems with home abuses in Sweden I just mean that nothing is perfect! The swedish community and our people are very laid back, dont want to take up so much space and we are the ones who gets the line "Huh, Can you Speak Up please!??" and unsecure and apoligize a lot is our thing you know, buuut the second we get alcoholic beverages in our bodily systems, wooow loook the fuck out! We are obnoxious and loud as hell! We drink insanely big quantities of alcohol, it´s just pure old crazy! I dont know how much we consume every year, look it up yourself and you are going to get a biiig surprise.. Sweden, Norway,Denmark and Finland together go under the name "The Alcoholic Belt" (What a justice- league huh? a couple of drunken dudes just tearing stuff up, that is a preeetty big contradiction!)..very flattering indeed..And what makes it even more ridiculous is that in Sweden you cant even buy the stronger spirit in your everyday shop, no the government owns that market!! Isnt that insane? it would be more logic to hear that information with "yeah, alcohol is soo cheap and you can get it wherever you are most of the hours of the 24-hour period, so what else should we do!?" But that´s not even correct! We drink a great number of strong liquor, and this is of course a changeable variable but let´s say from when you are 15 years old, and you can only get it in one shop which closes 18.00 on the weekdays and 14.00 on saturdays and it´s not even that cheap!
That´s not even close to being logic...why do we consume so much alcohol!??

Aaaah, Sweden, I am so proud of our country of spineless,conflict-frightened "neutral" hobby- alcoholics! "Uuh, Hey my name is Hannes and I am a Swede.."- "heeeey Hannes".. "uuh, I have been a Swede my entire life since I escaped from my 9 months isolation, and I dont think I can quit this habit, "No Sir-iy Bob!" (I am not drunk now, you say dont drink and drive, I say dont drink and write, it will be messy indeed, I was just looking to see if a quote from little Elaine in Seinfeld would cheer anyone up..A Well, I like it, so just go away!)

Peace