tisdag 5 mars 2013
heard and written on the train
I just realized being on the commute train without earphones after 2 years of every day having music in my ears is horrible. Stupid people with high caliber moronic conversations! For instance, at least here in sthlm, most people know they dont have any interesting topics so instead of doing the natural thing and shutting up they start complaining about the most random stuff they can think of. Im not talking about cold talk- complaints like how bull the weather is or about how poorly their football team played yesterday no no no waay more stupid than that... like standing on a crowded train and complain about how crowded the train in fact is!!! In my mind that is so remarkably dumb that I actuqlly started to laugh! Because if you're complaining about something you yourself are contributing to whilst talking about it; you are an idiot! Its not a fucking human right we're talking about! I mean you can of course wish for something but there is a difference between being so annoyed to the extent that you feel the need to spew out your opinion in stranger's faces than to wish the situation being different! I mean u could say; "the commute train is great, its a cheap and a convenient option to get to work every day but I just wish they made trains with more seats and space so everyone can be comfortable on the ride! " Not; "this sucks its sooo crowded I hate taking the train its just awful I hate it!" and still do it every day of every month of every fucking year! Because, again in my mind; the only natural reasonable reaction to the crowded trains is to just not taking it anymore cause you "hate" it and also if you wanna fix and find a solution to the problem you can easily help to the situation and taking your ass out of the equation; one more seat vacated and I can bet a lot of money that not a single person nor the train would miss your negative mind, face and body! Just get OFF!!
fredag 11 januari 2013
watched from abroad
okey seriously now... Racism is never justified we all know that and I hope you all know that I know that little fact! But if there ever were variations out there of racism that is more or less understandable there is a certain racism I will never understand and that is what I encountered several months ago...If you are a white male human being in North America standing outside an indian deli and screaming at the top of your lung; “You red dotted fuckers are stealing our jobs, my rights and this country!” you are the biggest idiot on so many fucking levels it's an insult to every homo sapien in the fucking universe!
Because one; You stole this country from the get go. Two, and I'm just assuming here; you deeply believe in a god and you have a deep religious spirit you of aall people at least should understand other people who are practicing the same way of life as you are even though in this case it's a bulls eye right in their forehead and believing cows are holy, but you of all people must understand what he is coming from! Three you still have your rights because back in the day some old country- stealer realized the importance of documenting so they went Humm I think we need to write this down guys, for all the people like us to come in the future never minding in how many different variations you would reproduce and just fucking create generations of stupid that would interpret aaaall of these words wrongly solely based from the situation he is standing in right now!!
so what are you left with? This inbred standing in the middle of the street because he has nothing else to do between junior juniors nap and his eating so he screams the dumbest things you can imagine... You're taking our country!! Our land!!- you are a waste of genes buddy...This entire country is resting on a foundation that if you have enough people and boats and less illness on board this land is OURS! That's what I'm saying the northern american racism is, if there were any sort of degree of racism, yours is the most idiotic ever!
You are here simply because when you got here the people already living here had a very free spirited life! no sense of ownership, no jobs, no money, no obligations besides surviving which meant hunting animals for food and women to fuck! and the only hierarchy they had was based on age and experience and that too makes sense because it's noticeable who's in charge then! the under breath mumbles and old wrinkles and the huge bird ass on their head, oh yeah this guy is the chief no doubt about it! Then white europeans from across the pond came here and started to take advantage of this situation and started to just make shit up and of course to their own advantages!
Who wouldn't? If you are ever in a situation where you make up the rules at the same time being a participant whom later on have to obey and follow these rules, you will definitely forge those rules and laws to benefit you and the ones you love because doing the opposite it's just dumb! If you grew up in a home where you couldn't just buy shit to have fun you know exactly what I'm talking about! what are we gonna do today? I don't know...lets make something up ourselves..a game! If you even better, single handedly, are going to make a game up you more so than ever make the rules leaning a wiii bit to your own advantage...or not even that, you make the rules so your own obvious disadvantages won't cripple you entirely! Take basketball for instance! Why is it still more or the same value of points depending on the distance from the basket for an outside shot than a dunk? think about it. It's waaay harder to jump up high in the air after running past guys who wants nothing else than what you are holding in your hands right now and stretch out mid air to slam a ball in a basket that's over three metres above ground than it is to throw something standing still on a target that's not even moving!!! Every day of the week that's harder work...So why isn't the point system in proportion to the level of difficulty? Huumm because maybe there was a short fucking white dude playing but who also had a saying in the human invention that is the game and the rules it should follow from that point on! Yeah this, it's three points! and the thing you are doing y'know really showing how much we can push ourselves on physical levels is naaw two points! But see what I'm doing here? Definitely more points y'know what, actually see where my foot is? draw a line riight here boy! And call it white man line! Huurrh Bill not a cool name. Lets call it a three pointer line! Because if you make it it's three points!!-why? because it's further away from the target.. uhuuh uhuh but you don't have to do anything really physically challenging to complete the task? I know but I'm fucking small and these blacks are huuuge it's way easier for them! Well maybe you should have thought about that little fact that homo sapien isn't a fucking one size suite! We come in diversity so I guess you should just deal with that and just throw more balls than this guy over here JUMPS!! IT'S STILL EASIER THAN WHAT HE IS DOING! look with your eyes and think with your brain surely you would agree it's harder to touch the rim with your finger than it is to throw a hollow circle from further away!!! Right?!? The words founding fathers should be the biggest clue to what we are dealing with here. Founding!! Fathers!! There was a group of men from overseas whom which from the start wanted an easier and freer life I mean that's why they LEFT! These men came together 237 years ago, like- minded I might add, and founded laws and rules the society we have now rests on and they werent exactly impartial to the results of these decisions!
So there is nothing that can ever justify you screaming words like “they”, “stealing country” and “american rights” not even a lot of time has past since that day so you can't even blame it on old stupid knowledge thought out and read from words in stone on a wall in a cave no it was ink and paper so what aaaall you really can scream is; “I love the fact how you other immigrants learned from us to steal and lie in order to stay and thrive here in this big beautiful country of OURS!! Good Night
Because one; You stole this country from the get go. Two, and I'm just assuming here; you deeply believe in a god and you have a deep religious spirit you of aall people at least should understand other people who are practicing the same way of life as you are even though in this case it's a bulls eye right in their forehead and believing cows are holy, but you of all people must understand what he is coming from! Three you still have your rights because back in the day some old country- stealer realized the importance of documenting so they went Humm I think we need to write this down guys, for all the people like us to come in the future never minding in how many different variations you would reproduce and just fucking create generations of stupid that would interpret aaaall of these words wrongly solely based from the situation he is standing in right now!!
so what are you left with? This inbred standing in the middle of the street because he has nothing else to do between junior juniors nap and his eating so he screams the dumbest things you can imagine... You're taking our country!! Our land!!- you are a waste of genes buddy...This entire country is resting on a foundation that if you have enough people and boats and less illness on board this land is OURS! That's what I'm saying the northern american racism is, if there were any sort of degree of racism, yours is the most idiotic ever!
You are here simply because when you got here the people already living here had a very free spirited life! no sense of ownership, no jobs, no money, no obligations besides surviving which meant hunting animals for food and women to fuck! and the only hierarchy they had was based on age and experience and that too makes sense because it's noticeable who's in charge then! the under breath mumbles and old wrinkles and the huge bird ass on their head, oh yeah this guy is the chief no doubt about it! Then white europeans from across the pond came here and started to take advantage of this situation and started to just make shit up and of course to their own advantages!
Who wouldn't? If you are ever in a situation where you make up the rules at the same time being a participant whom later on have to obey and follow these rules, you will definitely forge those rules and laws to benefit you and the ones you love because doing the opposite it's just dumb! If you grew up in a home where you couldn't just buy shit to have fun you know exactly what I'm talking about! what are we gonna do today? I don't know...lets make something up ourselves..a game! If you even better, single handedly, are going to make a game up you more so than ever make the rules leaning a wiii bit to your own advantage...or not even that, you make the rules so your own obvious disadvantages won't cripple you entirely! Take basketball for instance! Why is it still more or the same value of points depending on the distance from the basket for an outside shot than a dunk? think about it. It's waaay harder to jump up high in the air after running past guys who wants nothing else than what you are holding in your hands right now and stretch out mid air to slam a ball in a basket that's over three metres above ground than it is to throw something standing still on a target that's not even moving!!! Every day of the week that's harder work...So why isn't the point system in proportion to the level of difficulty? Huumm because maybe there was a short fucking white dude playing but who also had a saying in the human invention that is the game and the rules it should follow from that point on! Yeah this, it's three points! and the thing you are doing y'know really showing how much we can push ourselves on physical levels is naaw two points! But see what I'm doing here? Definitely more points y'know what, actually see where my foot is? draw a line riight here boy! And call it white man line! Huurrh Bill not a cool name. Lets call it a three pointer line! Because if you make it it's three points!!-why? because it's further away from the target.. uhuuh uhuh but you don't have to do anything really physically challenging to complete the task? I know but I'm fucking small and these blacks are huuuge it's way easier for them! Well maybe you should have thought about that little fact that homo sapien isn't a fucking one size suite! We come in diversity so I guess you should just deal with that and just throw more balls than this guy over here JUMPS!! IT'S STILL EASIER THAN WHAT HE IS DOING! look with your eyes and think with your brain surely you would agree it's harder to touch the rim with your finger than it is to throw a hollow circle from further away!!! Right?!? The words founding fathers should be the biggest clue to what we are dealing with here. Founding!! Fathers!! There was a group of men from overseas whom which from the start wanted an easier and freer life I mean that's why they LEFT! These men came together 237 years ago, like- minded I might add, and founded laws and rules the society we have now rests on and they werent exactly impartial to the results of these decisions!
So there is nothing that can ever justify you screaming words like “they”, “stealing country” and “american rights” not even a lot of time has past since that day so you can't even blame it on old stupid knowledge thought out and read from words in stone on a wall in a cave no it was ink and paper so what aaaall you really can scream is; “I love the fact how you other immigrants learned from us to steal and lie in order to stay and thrive here in this big beautiful country of OURS!! Good Night
tisdag 6 november 2012
It needs a wrapper NOW!!
I just landed at Arlanda. I was going from my hometown to my new hometown since 2 years back.
The flight takes roughly 50 minutes and I gotta say I think I found the time limit as well for my patience.
I always book a seat in the back cause wierdly enough most of the people book their seats in the front of the plane which I really dont understand at all...Isnt actually safer to be in the back of the plane IF we are going down? Besides that its way more convenient to get on and off the plane if you´re seated in the back; always faster. But I dont really do it for the safety at all...Its for the convenience and in reality for the most part you dont have to sit next to anyone especially on the evening flights! So I did.
I get on. Its me and one more dude sharing 6 seats in a row. Excellent!
Right before we are about to take off I see a stewardess coming up with a kid infront of her and all I was thinking was "please tell me its a little person you are about to throw off the plane for being inebriated or something...Sadly I was wrong! I mean you rarely wish for that but why couldnt it have been a drunk midget just this once? But that wasnt the case and of course she was pushing that fat kid towards the row I was sitting in. Why would this scenario play out in any other way?
While the staff is herding this lazy non- to barely- feet lifting kid towards my seat I can see she is chewing her god damn teeth off with a pink and huge bubble gum...Fuck! I know this. I recognize this. I all of a sudden got talents of reading the future and the next 55 min was painted infront of my eyes and three doors of possibilities emerged;
door nr.1; I say no and point to another row of seats not even looking up from my laptop.
door nr.2; I just get up and change to another seat myself with complete disregard for the given seat number mostly because it looks like even the staff is now disregarding that fact with this loud chewing Umpa Lumpa.
door nr.3; Be a good and polite citizen and also passenger and just "Oh IM sorry" and let her in to the window seat but of course the whole way just hating this fucking kid ( I mean I would prefer not even thinking about slapping a kid much less doing it so Im really starting to hate this situation) more and more for each time unit you prefer goes by until I land and smoke 3 cigarettes back to back all the while not even opening my eyes....
Im a Swede what the fuck do you think I did?
So my curious mind starts to wonder, what the fuck is wrong with this kid? I mean not really by any physical features but by this entire spectacle that just took place; its gotta be something wrong with it.
Yes It. I dont know the kid´s name and every other (nick)name I can think for it is rooted in evil.
Becuase I was thinking this cant be the regular procedure of flying a kid without adult supervision. I mean they still have a ticket with a seat number right? So why cant we seat them first? But in this case they werent so I was thinking this is a family member of probably the pilot but definitely someone from the staff is related to this Chucky with chewing jaws of a llama and also future incidents will confirm that theory. But they are not relevant to the story so I choose not to mention those details that makes me positive to believe she is flying for free...
Im sitting with my laptop and earphones are plugged in and Beatles is streaming out...
Even though I have the volume setting on max I hear her every fourth minute popping huge pink bubbles so Im just guessing they are loud. I hear them. So everyone must hear it even better and also should annoy them even harder. But again, we are mostly Swedes on this plane and god damn it how polite we are in public situations its almost rude actually...I mean we cant be this polite all the time...at least not willingly...So that concludes us being so unwillingly polite in public situations that it becomes rude. Swedes are rudely polite!
Nobody even makes the slightest cough of annoynce...This must be the same feeling people got when the only rule for the next king to be elected was the son of the passed king, no matter how old he was...So you end up with a province in China being runned by a fucking kid with a sceptor and crown but not even developed all his teeth yet...
I started to think happy thoughts like hey at least its not a screaming 3 year old...So that thought started to calm me down when all of a sudden the bubble gum- smacking was accompanied by shrugs of some kind or a tic if you will. JEEZES whats up with this kid? I take a glance in my perifial and now the kid has thrown her jacket over her head much like a tent and I start to slowly realize she cant help herself. Something is wrong and maybe all the other passengers has already come to this realization and therefor cant get angry with her. I on the other hand cannot get passed the smacking and bubble- blowing which always ends with a huge "POP" every other minute now right next to me!
Can I say something? What can I say without scarring this kid for the rest of its life?
"Im really sorry but you are very annoying. Your parents must have a tough time and I can totally understand why you are flying alone...Either they have sent you away to go live somewhere else or you are all flying somewhere but they couldnt even be on the same aircraft as you so they get a little mini vacation from YOU! Or you are the daughter of the pilot and you could easily be travelling with him in the cock pit but he is afraid that he will intentionally crash the plane after being airbourne for 13 minutes with her blowing bubbles and twitching behind him!
I know honey, you have recently gotten the hang of blowing bubbles with your gum but I can guarentee you that nobody is impressed and therefor you should stop parading this skill...its not like you are bouncing the gum on your nose before you catch it in your mouth still in the form of a bubble! You are just destroying the same thing over and over again. Thats not impressive.
Thats just what any domineering extremist is doing all around the world... well besides the "over and over again"... They seldom get the chance of destroying anything materialistic a second time. Its kind of a one time-gig-solution in that line of work! But it kind of applies here so I just pointed and shouted "TERRORIST" and knocked her out cold!
Thats the first time I have been on a plane where people breaks out in applause before we´ve even landed!
Yours Sincerely
"The bitterest man in the living room...and plane...."
måndag 10 september 2012
Cat person-person or a simple dog?
And I woke up in the middle of the night at the horrible loud noises of not just one dog but three fucking dogs just shouting in the night for no appearent reason! Then I dozely realize that I´ve seen a woman recently moving in across the street and then I didnt really pay attention but now in hine sight I realize that she carried in not one but three fucking dog food bowls and they were crazy big now when I think about it. This was three days ago. Why have they played the waiting game on me? dont they know I can kill them very easily? And also that people tend to eat dogs? I have always been under the impression that dogs know that they are inferior to us. A dog is dying before a human in every situation or scenario, always. In e-v-e-r-y possible event, a dog will go before a human. Hey I like dogs! Im just stating the facts here. Last creature standing and breathing will not be the same creature that smell the other sex of the same specie in the ass just as a sign of hello! That just will never happen. Ever.
But as I said here on the fourth night I´m screaming "For Gods sake can your dogs be any louder? in front of her opened door and dumb looking face expression. -"Aah cmon they are just talking" with that ridiculous smile on her face! She answered. Yeah okay to you it might sound like talking because of the little detail of "love" you have towards them. I dont have that. But to the rest of the world its loud noises. Called "barking".
There is a reason why its called "Barking" and not "serenating", its fucking annoying and to top it all of its even loud barks 5 o´clock in the fucking morning! Big difference I gotta say.
And further more I have a huge hang over even larger than your three Lucifer-sent bitches actually so pretty please. Tell them to whisper the rest of their 45 minutes tea party before I go asian on them and have a fucking morning eating frenzy!
When people ask me if I´m a dog- or a cat- person I soley go by the person owning the animal.
So in those cases cat persons are infinate cooler....Okay Okay Lets take the lonely single middle aged women out of the equation first but besides them cat persons are infinate cooler than dog owners!
Although dogs themselves are much of the time a more intelligent creature than cats are; Dog owners however are sometimes pretty stupid and should not even have a dog in the first place...Im getting off topic!
"Oh he just wanna say hello!!" Or "He is just playing?" Oh really? cause it feels a lot like dog teeth burying into my left calf!! Fun PLAYING with you!!
I`m gonna take my viatnemese friend to the park one day with a barbeque grill. A woman screaming "what are you doing?!??" Oh no no sorry...my little friend here is just saying hello! repeatedly in a "chewing" manour. And nooo his name is not Chewing....
this whole thing is of course just a dumb whole joke....nothing of this has of course happened...
Im guessing not many even reads this...so never mind. All of this happened....translated for some reason...
Aaanyway...
But as I said here on the fourth night I´m screaming "For Gods sake can your dogs be any louder? in front of her opened door and dumb looking face expression. -"Aah cmon they are just talking" with that ridiculous smile on her face! She answered. Yeah okay to you it might sound like talking because of the little detail of "love" you have towards them. I dont have that. But to the rest of the world its loud noises. Called "barking".
There is a reason why its called "Barking" and not "serenating", its fucking annoying and to top it all of its even loud barks 5 o´clock in the fucking morning! Big difference I gotta say.
And further more I have a huge hang over even larger than your three Lucifer-sent bitches actually so pretty please. Tell them to whisper the rest of their 45 minutes tea party before I go asian on them and have a fucking morning eating frenzy!
When people ask me if I´m a dog- or a cat- person I soley go by the person owning the animal.
So in those cases cat persons are infinate cooler....Okay Okay Lets take the lonely single middle aged women out of the equation first but besides them cat persons are infinate cooler than dog owners!
Although dogs themselves are much of the time a more intelligent creature than cats are; Dog owners however are sometimes pretty stupid and should not even have a dog in the first place...Im getting off topic!
"Oh he just wanna say hello!!" Or "He is just playing?" Oh really? cause it feels a lot like dog teeth burying into my left calf!! Fun PLAYING with you!!
I`m gonna take my viatnemese friend to the park one day with a barbeque grill. A woman screaming "what are you doing?!??" Oh no no sorry...my little friend here is just saying hello! repeatedly in a "chewing" manour. And nooo his name is not Chewing....
this whole thing is of course just a dumb whole joke....nothing of this has of course happened...
Im guessing not many even reads this...so never mind. All of this happened....translated for some reason...
Aaanyway...
tisdag 25 januari 2011
No Sir you have too watch while we are crashing and turn OFF your electrical device...2011??
I was on a flight recently and still the drills while on the plane amazes me everytime. First of all; the electric devices has to be shutted off during take off and landing. Really? What can possibly happen that includes a Boeing, a crash in the Atlantic and my iphone? I cant see that scenario at all. I never shut mine off during take off nor landing. Why? Simply if we are about to go down I can go: "wow what do you know, my listening to metallica DID actually kill 60 or so people; my grandparents was right all along; Rock is the work of the devil who knew!? "I shouldnt have doubted you guys I should have turned it off during landing, my bad, guess I got a lethal apple, much like in the bible.... But then again in that scenario it was except for the lethal apple also two nudists and a snake not me stinking like a tequila- factory, a senior citizen for a stewardess, a giant airplane and an iphone...so a couple off different details but still..
But the most bisarre situation I was in during a take off on a flight to Malmö. It was sunny and cloudfree in the middle of the day and I had a bitching hang over. I had the window- seat and I decided to take down the window-blind so I wouldnt burn my eyes out of their sockets; who wouldnt right? Seems like a perfect rational idea but appearently NOOO no no no... A bitter stewardess who seen here share of sky and I actually think when she steps of this plane she will step of completely. She basically rushed forward over the poor elderly couple that was in seat D and E to say, already irritated probably over the fact she was already in her late thirtys when the airplane was first invented. -"Would you please be cooperative and take up your blind while taking off; SIR!? I didnt want an argument right there while my head was imploding, I was more busy asking myself why they invented the 1 litre bottles of vodka... So I pulled it up but WHAT!?? What the fuck does my blind being down or up has anything to do with the pilot trying to straight out the giant tin bird a couple of thousand metres over the ground. I mean he is not sitting next to me steering this giant Boeing leaning his head on my shoulder going: "hey hey hey pull that up; I cant see where we going!"
So in case of an accident with the plane; I really cant see why I have to watch the plane plumbing down to certain death. I mean if I have a couple of minutes left to live isnt it my option what I wanna SEE infront of me? Maybe I do not wish to watch the Atlantic coming faster and faster closer and closer before it swallows the plane completely? I think knowing is enough. Isnt it bad enough I am certainly going to die I have to be no blind- front seat of the whole goddamn spectacle which is a scenario that becomes reality cause someone else fucked up! I mean the food is crap but I can live with that if you just dont crash the mother F-in airplane, thank you very much!
And really arnt we passed the whole applause scene everytime we successfully complete a landing? Who are we clapping for, really? The pilots? I mean this is their job, the pilots, they are suppossed to master this procedure quite well. But If instead a 75 year old man on a peanut allergy- reaction lands the plane with no harm nor foul then I would clap the hell out for him but if there is a pilot with at least 50 landings in his life cant do his job without an old cheering I would get to stand next him during next flight and slap him repeatedly and giving him wet willys... If he lands then break out the ol' babypowder cause this man deserves an applause...
It cant be a clapping for ourselves surviving yet another landing. I dont know about you But I have never seen survivors clapping. A woman right after a rape and attemptive murder goes:" WHOO ALRIGHT *CLAP CLAP CLAP* I MADE it, yeaaah! So it must be for the pilots... This is the half of what they do; landing. The other half; TAKE OFF! if they cant do this proper they shouldnt be pilots, during this material I was simultanously trying to come up with a line of work that is worthy an applause after they were done and except for show business I think a bartender. Why? Simply cause that is what I do and I fucking want my applauses, god damn pilots taking all the cheering while working... Douches...
But the most bisarre situation I was in during a take off on a flight to Malmö. It was sunny and cloudfree in the middle of the day and I had a bitching hang over. I had the window- seat and I decided to take down the window-blind so I wouldnt burn my eyes out of their sockets; who wouldnt right? Seems like a perfect rational idea but appearently NOOO no no no... A bitter stewardess who seen here share of sky and I actually think when she steps of this plane she will step of completely. She basically rushed forward over the poor elderly couple that was in seat D and E to say, already irritated probably over the fact she was already in her late thirtys when the airplane was first invented. -"Would you please be cooperative and take up your blind while taking off; SIR!? I didnt want an argument right there while my head was imploding, I was more busy asking myself why they invented the 1 litre bottles of vodka... So I pulled it up but WHAT!?? What the fuck does my blind being down or up has anything to do with the pilot trying to straight out the giant tin bird a couple of thousand metres over the ground. I mean he is not sitting next to me steering this giant Boeing leaning his head on my shoulder going: "hey hey hey pull that up; I cant see where we going!"
So in case of an accident with the plane; I really cant see why I have to watch the plane plumbing down to certain death. I mean if I have a couple of minutes left to live isnt it my option what I wanna SEE infront of me? Maybe I do not wish to watch the Atlantic coming faster and faster closer and closer before it swallows the plane completely? I think knowing is enough. Isnt it bad enough I am certainly going to die I have to be no blind- front seat of the whole goddamn spectacle which is a scenario that becomes reality cause someone else fucked up! I mean the food is crap but I can live with that if you just dont crash the mother F-in airplane, thank you very much!
And really arnt we passed the whole applause scene everytime we successfully complete a landing? Who are we clapping for, really? The pilots? I mean this is their job, the pilots, they are suppossed to master this procedure quite well. But If instead a 75 year old man on a peanut allergy- reaction lands the plane with no harm nor foul then I would clap the hell out for him but if there is a pilot with at least 50 landings in his life cant do his job without an old cheering I would get to stand next him during next flight and slap him repeatedly and giving him wet willys... If he lands then break out the ol' babypowder cause this man deserves an applause...
It cant be a clapping for ourselves surviving yet another landing. I dont know about you But I have never seen survivors clapping. A woman right after a rape and attemptive murder goes:" WHOO ALRIGHT *CLAP CLAP CLAP* I MADE it, yeaaah! So it must be for the pilots... This is the half of what they do; landing. The other half; TAKE OFF! if they cant do this proper they shouldnt be pilots, during this material I was simultanously trying to come up with a line of work that is worthy an applause after they were done and except for show business I think a bartender. Why? Simply cause that is what I do and I fucking want my applauses, god damn pilots taking all the cheering while working... Douches...
söndag 18 juli 2010
vart tog du vägen?
Saknaden av dig är så oerhört smärtande stor
samtidigt känner jag en stark närvaro av dig min fina bror
Du hade gillat att veva o sjunga i mörkret av gårdagen, såg dig slå med i trumslagen
frågan ska inte ställas varför du inte var där
utan i huvudet nu hur du alltid är uppe här
mer lr mindre slåendes på knapparna av smärta
dem är både röda o gröna som svart o vitt är Alpha o Omega,
"Dom hade mycket att säga" sa Andreas Grega
han kunde inte ha mer rätt o gränsen mellan ledsamhet o ilska
har visats sig vara hårfin
men det som får vågskålen att tippa o stjälpa över
är min ovillkorliga kärlek för dig o vår familj,
din eviga o envisa jakt efter ett eller två fyrklöver;
är även den så abrubt slut och över
men det som aldrig kommer ha ett sista kapitel
är det episka innanför loben o hjärtat hos Gunnar o din yngsta bror,
din söta son, din starka far o din vackra mor
Vila i frid Rickard Berg 24/12 1976- 29/6 2010
samtidigt känner jag en stark närvaro av dig min fina bror
Du hade gillat att veva o sjunga i mörkret av gårdagen, såg dig slå med i trumslagen
frågan ska inte ställas varför du inte var där
utan i huvudet nu hur du alltid är uppe här
mer lr mindre slåendes på knapparna av smärta
dem är både röda o gröna som svart o vitt är Alpha o Omega,
"Dom hade mycket att säga" sa Andreas Grega
han kunde inte ha mer rätt o gränsen mellan ledsamhet o ilska
har visats sig vara hårfin
men det som får vågskålen att tippa o stjälpa över
är min ovillkorliga kärlek för dig o vår familj,
din eviga o envisa jakt efter ett eller två fyrklöver;
är även den så abrubt slut och över
men det som aldrig kommer ha ett sista kapitel
är det episka innanför loben o hjärtat hos Gunnar o din yngsta bror,
din söta son, din starka far o din vackra mor
Vila i frid Rickard Berg 24/12 1976- 29/6 2010
lördag 29 maj 2010
Are you afraid of a spider? I am afraid of hanging myself...
someone told me long ago (
"there´s a calm before the storm, I knoow, Have you ever seen the rain? coming down a sunny day!?" A Creedence clearwater revival- line from the song "Have you ever seen the rain?" came to mind when I wrote the first line in this post) "You are only as old as you feel" ...thats a bunch of crap by the way... But age is a funny thing when you think about it...Almost everyone want to be young(er) than what they actually are but to the extent of that case is physically impossible we settle for feeling younger. Beauty-products and cosmetics have never been so popular and the business for it is climbing higher and reaching new sale- records for each day that goes by...
BUT I am looking forward being old (not as a breathing vegetable but a healthy old man is going to be fucking sweeeeet! I see myself in the future and a layer of harmony is painted over my face and I feel good! Not only do I look forward for my years to come, also I feel much older than I actually am! I have to remind myself that I am not even 2 years passed dos decenios... I started to think about it and my mind branched out for the reason why I feel so much older... Maybe its because almost my entire youth; older people have been surrounding me, much older siblings, a lot of friends are older than myself...
Can it be that I got a lot of responsible at an early age? Only me and my mother, after my brother got older and moved out so I was in some extent "the man of the house" and I think that has shaped me into the person I am today!
"Hey, lets check out this place, its awesome and great bartenders!" getting there... "Can I see some ID? My 30 some years old friend: "Oh crap, thats right you are only 21!"
This is not a crying message saying I didnt had a good childhood, cause I did, it was awesome!
Due to some reasons I matured mentally rather fast and my verbal skills improved quickly!
So my favorite things in school? Oral exams and presentation!
I remember my first oral exam like it was yesterday...didnt study at all until the evening before the presentation! I picked my subject and learned my material by heart and stood up infront of the class saying:
"I may not be a great thinker or a world leader, I dont read a lot...or or run very fast but damn it: I can TALK!" I didnt get a single laugh which was horrible but then I started my presentation:
"Today I am going to talk about spiders! Spiders: bla bla bla bla"...I may be a talker but my memory cant save me out of shit!
I will take this moment to say this isnt at all what I was going to write about, god DAMN IT!
my mind wanders completely outside of the abstract lines that is my chain of thought, that is not a good style to have....
We are supposed to be a rather intelligent specie, we humans but we have some rather weird fixations and irrational thoughts and ideas! the proof of that is all the fears and phobias we have for different things that cant harm us in any way, but instead of thinking rational thoughts like: "Uuuuh, this is strange behavior I am pulling right now, this is nonsense; that little thing cant hurt me!" buut noooo, instead we climb up on the invention we created for sitting on and yell: "A MOUSE KIIIILL IT!!" : Very irrational and unnecessary reactions I must say!
Our biggest fears today has been listed and its quite estonishing on how we have answered!
Number one fear: "Talking infront of a big crowd!" THAT is number one fear for humans? HIGHLY retarded! Fear is supposed to be controlled by life- threatening situations! For instance everybody should be very frightened if we are faced with a crocodile or a shark right beneath our feet while swimming! Even being afraid of swimming is more rational than being afraid of standing up infront of a couple of meat- popsicles just like yourself, cause then we are in a habitat we cant function fully to our potential in! Thats understandable: " Hey Fred, wanna go for a swim? -No I dont want to be in that big ocean cause I am a land- walking creature and I dont belong in that! -Cant you swim? -Yes, I can swim but that doesnt matter cause every fucking thing in there is doing it better than I do it AND they LIVE IN THERE you knucklehead!!
So whats second place then? Of course: Death! NUMBER TWO? that is fucking crazy retarded!
We are afraid of dying, why!?? Because we love being alive! We like our lives and we love breathing and we laugh our way through it...And we dont want to exchange that for lying 6 feet under dirt and soil....but of course, we obviously dont like breathing as much as we like shutting the hell up in pure lonely isolation according to our fears and phobias!
So according to our biggest fears "On a funeral; we are rather lying in the casket than doing the eulogy!!" / Jerry Seinfeld Homofuckingsapiens, god damn it...
"there´s a calm before the storm, I knoow, Have you ever seen the rain? coming down a sunny day!?" A Creedence clearwater revival- line from the song "Have you ever seen the rain?" came to mind when I wrote the first line in this post) "You are only as old as you feel" ...thats a bunch of crap by the way... But age is a funny thing when you think about it...Almost everyone want to be young(er) than what they actually are but to the extent of that case is physically impossible we settle for feeling younger. Beauty-products and cosmetics have never been so popular and the business for it is climbing higher and reaching new sale- records for each day that goes by...BUT I am looking forward being old (not as a breathing vegetable but a healthy old man is going to be fucking sweeeeet! I see myself in the future and a layer of harmony is painted over my face and I feel good! Not only do I look forward for my years to come, also I feel much older than I actually am! I have to remind myself that I am not even 2 years passed dos decenios... I started to think about it and my mind branched out for the reason why I feel so much older... Maybe its because almost my entire youth; older people have been surrounding me, much older siblings, a lot of friends are older than myself...
Can it be that I got a lot of responsible at an early age? Only me and my mother, after my brother got older and moved out so I was in some extent "the man of the house" and I think that has shaped me into the person I am today!
"Hey, lets check out this place, its awesome and great bartenders!" getting there... "Can I see some ID? My 30 some years old friend: "Oh crap, thats right you are only 21!"
This is not a crying message saying I didnt had a good childhood, cause I did, it was awesome!
Due to some reasons I matured mentally rather fast and my verbal skills improved quickly!
So my favorite things in school? Oral exams and presentation!
I remember my first oral exam like it was yesterday...didnt study at all until the evening before the presentation! I picked my subject and learned my material by heart and stood up infront of the class saying:
"I may not be a great thinker or a world leader, I dont read a lot...or or run very fast but damn it: I can TALK!" I didnt get a single laugh which was horrible but then I started my presentation:
"Today I am going to talk about spiders! Spiders: bla bla bla bla"...I may be a talker but my memory cant save me out of shit!
I will take this moment to say this isnt at all what I was going to write about, god DAMN IT!
my mind wanders completely outside of the abstract lines that is my chain of thought, that is not a good style to have....
We are supposed to be a rather intelligent specie, we humans but we have some rather weird fixations and irrational thoughts and ideas! the proof of that is all the fears and phobias we have for different things that cant harm us in any way, but instead of thinking rational thoughts like: "Uuuuh, this is strange behavior I am pulling right now, this is nonsense; that little thing cant hurt me!" buut noooo, instead we climb up on the invention we created for sitting on and yell: "A MOUSE KIIIILL IT!!" : Very irrational and unnecessary reactions I must say!
Our biggest fears today has been listed and its quite estonishing on how we have answered!
Number one fear: "Talking infront of a big crowd!" THAT is number one fear for humans? HIGHLY retarded! Fear is supposed to be controlled by life- threatening situations! For instance everybody should be very frightened if we are faced with a crocodile or a shark right beneath our feet while swimming! Even being afraid of swimming is more rational than being afraid of standing up infront of a couple of meat- popsicles just like yourself, cause then we are in a habitat we cant function fully to our potential in! Thats understandable: " Hey Fred, wanna go for a swim? -No I dont want to be in that big ocean cause I am a land- walking creature and I dont belong in that! -Cant you swim? -Yes, I can swim but that doesnt matter cause every fucking thing in there is doing it better than I do it AND they LIVE IN THERE you knucklehead!!
So whats second place then? Of course: Death! NUMBER TWO? that is fucking crazy retarded!
We are afraid of dying, why!?? Because we love being alive! We like our lives and we love breathing and we laugh our way through it...And we dont want to exchange that for lying 6 feet under dirt and soil....but of course, we obviously dont like breathing as much as we like shutting the hell up in pure lonely isolation according to our fears and phobias!
So according to our biggest fears "On a funeral; we are rather lying in the casket than doing the eulogy!!" / Jerry Seinfeld Homofuckingsapiens, god damn it...
fredag 21 maj 2010
The second Self, that guy is a douché!
I have heard uniqueness is rather important. Thats funny, cause really, how unique are we? not very would be my response. Yes of course we do have (for the most time) our right to speak up and even have our own opinion!.....Well.....to some extent...
Then there are of course the anatomical rational reasons for the debate on how unique we are. We have DNA which controls our physical features but that is pretty much it!
We are not very unique and special as we would like to believe and I dont quite get where that statement is from, probably more suitable question would be: "I dont quite get from When that statement is from..." cause its probably an old saying we havent burried yet with all the other nonsense we tell each other everyday!
BEING and TALKING about the importance of being "your own person and your decisions are not anyone´s business..." is a whole different story! We are very good when it comes to talking about whats important for each and every homo sapiens on this water- covered planet, but doing it? "Well, no no no off course not, hrrrrmmmm dont we have any ginnypigs or something? Jim, can you check the dumpsters down at the shelter for one of those homeless that are living there? see if we can try it on them first!" - "Try what Bob?"- "Uuh Change Jim, just Change."
Cause how good a change could be for us, its still a "change" and we do not like change dont we?
We hate it! "wait, what? are they moving? why!? this is such a friendly neighbourhood, why would they just leave? has something happened? did their daughter got raped and brutally murdered? Is that why they left? Honey!!!,,, the...uuh the...hmm the Whats their face- family are moving!!" - "You mean the Nelssons? yeah they have lived there longer than we lived here Dan, and you didnt know their name, what do you care?" - "I DONT LIKE CHANGE!!!"
Love exaggerating things but whatever...
In fact we are not even close to being unique! Everyone of us, has at least two personalities, and I can prove it! You have your nr.1 "inside personality". this is the person you are for the most part, the one debating if you will make coffee or take a shower first in the morning, deciding what clothes you will wear for the day, this is just "You". The one (and only) personality you think you have. It contains your likes and dislikes and this person is the one who defines who you are!
But as soon as you take one step outside of your door, BOOM, this person, DEPENDING who you will meet, has VANISHED! if you only meet people that has known you forever and long before you defined your future self, close friends or family you are still you.... BUT,, meeting anyone else you are all of a sudden a complete different,,,, Moron! I mean dont you just love all the routine pointless shit-chating that goes on in every convenient- store, clothing store and just cashiers in general! These conversations are very addable to situations with people you "kind of" are familiar with too...You kind of know this guy sitting next to you on the bus, so thats why you will participate in the most awkward dialogue the world has ever seen since Shakespeare tried to do a porno! And during this "conversation" you are trying to figure out this guy´s name (not last name, his FULL NAME) and /or you are imagining that this is the final scene of the movie "Speed" and you are waiting to jump off!
But these god damn routine- chats...I cant take it anymore..its sooooo pointless. You dont know the person in front of you, you dont Want to know this person, the only reason you know this person´s name is cause she is wearing a fucking nametag and thats it! Thats the bottom of personal relationship! This person has one job to do, for now she is working for you,, to get my god damn Red Lucky Strike, taking my cash and open the register and then its GoodfuckingBye!
Sometimes I like to mess with people who is working as cashiers and test how much routines this person has in its job- descriptions!
I will represent the H and the cashier will represent the C. for obvious reasons...
C: Hello, what can I get you?
H: Uh hey, yeah can I get a pack of lucky strike?
C: red?
H: yes. (of course red, who the fuck wants blue ones these days? You are smoking so you can die faster, why do I then want a lighter version? stupid.)
C: will you pay with Cash or creditcard?
H: (guess what the fuck I am holding in my hand!?!?) uuh card.
C: That will be 45 SEK, type in your code.
H: (oooh you need the code, this is actually my fifteen THOUSAND time Im doing this) yes of course.
C: On the amount?
H: Uuh no actually can you take it on 40 SEK?
C: yes of course.....wait a minute....
H: Yes, I just made a joke. (and my mouth just uttered a phrase you´ve never heard before in your LIFE, its hard to communicate. Pull up your pants!
Then there are of course the anatomical rational reasons for the debate on how unique we are. We have DNA which controls our physical features but that is pretty much it!
We are not very unique and special as we would like to believe and I dont quite get where that statement is from, probably more suitable question would be: "I dont quite get from When that statement is from..." cause its probably an old saying we havent burried yet with all the other nonsense we tell each other everyday!
BEING and TALKING about the importance of being "your own person and your decisions are not anyone´s business..." is a whole different story! We are very good when it comes to talking about whats important for each and every homo sapiens on this water- covered planet, but doing it? "Well, no no no off course not, hrrrrmmmm dont we have any ginnypigs or something? Jim, can you check the dumpsters down at the shelter for one of those homeless that are living there? see if we can try it on them first!" - "Try what Bob?"- "Uuh Change Jim, just Change."
Cause how good a change could be for us, its still a "change" and we do not like change dont we?
We hate it! "wait, what? are they moving? why!? this is such a friendly neighbourhood, why would they just leave? has something happened? did their daughter got raped and brutally murdered? Is that why they left? Honey!!!,,, the...uuh the...hmm the Whats their face- family are moving!!" - "You mean the Nelssons? yeah they have lived there longer than we lived here Dan, and you didnt know their name, what do you care?" - "I DONT LIKE CHANGE!!!"
Love exaggerating things but whatever...
In fact we are not even close to being unique! Everyone of us, has at least two personalities, and I can prove it! You have your nr.1 "inside personality". this is the person you are for the most part, the one debating if you will make coffee or take a shower first in the morning, deciding what clothes you will wear for the day, this is just "You". The one (and only) personality you think you have. It contains your likes and dislikes and this person is the one who defines who you are!
But as soon as you take one step outside of your door, BOOM, this person, DEPENDING who you will meet, has VANISHED! if you only meet people that has known you forever and long before you defined your future self, close friends or family you are still you.... BUT,, meeting anyone else you are all of a sudden a complete different,,,, Moron! I mean dont you just love all the routine pointless shit-chating that goes on in every convenient- store, clothing store and just cashiers in general! These conversations are very addable to situations with people you "kind of" are familiar with too...You kind of know this guy sitting next to you on the bus, so thats why you will participate in the most awkward dialogue the world has ever seen since Shakespeare tried to do a porno! And during this "conversation" you are trying to figure out this guy´s name (not last name, his FULL NAME) and /or you are imagining that this is the final scene of the movie "Speed" and you are waiting to jump off!
But these god damn routine- chats...I cant take it anymore..its sooooo pointless. You dont know the person in front of you, you dont Want to know this person, the only reason you know this person´s name is cause she is wearing a fucking nametag and thats it! Thats the bottom of personal relationship! This person has one job to do, for now she is working for you,, to get my god damn Red Lucky Strike, taking my cash and open the register and then its GoodfuckingBye!
Sometimes I like to mess with people who is working as cashiers and test how much routines this person has in its job- descriptions!
I will represent the H and the cashier will represent the C. for obvious reasons...
C: Hello, what can I get you?
H: Uh hey, yeah can I get a pack of lucky strike?
C: red?
H: yes. (of course red, who the fuck wants blue ones these days? You are smoking so you can die faster, why do I then want a lighter version? stupid.)
C: will you pay with Cash or creditcard?
H: (guess what the fuck I am holding in my hand!?!?) uuh card.
C: That will be 45 SEK, type in your code.
H: (oooh you need the code, this is actually my fifteen THOUSAND time Im doing this) yes of course.
C: On the amount?
H: Uuh no actually can you take it on 40 SEK?
C: yes of course.....wait a minute....
H: Yes, I just made a joke. (and my mouth just uttered a phrase you´ve never heard before in your LIFE, its hard to communicate. Pull up your pants!
onsdag 11 mars 2009
Fast Forwarding a pregnancy to a little child, right on the bus!
I was on the bus today and at first this was just any other ordinary bus- travel with my ipod and a few other people on the bus.. Then the bus turns right to the stop near a school...aaaa Cmoon, Fuck me sideways! The bus-stop is packed with small kids, big kids, kids who think they are adults and every single kind of kid you can think of! No one stepped off the bus, and eveeery one at the stop was going on the same bus I so convenient was on!
Every seat gets slowly occupied but there are still like 10 or so who has to stand up in the aisle.. I´m of course sitting where there are four seats, not the usually two seats.. Lucky me, I have my ipod so I dont have to listen to these 2 chicks sitting next to me babbling about whatever they are talking about after a hard day in school....Anyway, there are getting on more and more people on the bus for every stop that goes and maybe 2 stops after the school a family, with 3 kids jumps on the bus and they have to stand beside where I´m sitting.. In the seat right across mine is a third chick who is rather cute.. Then when she sees that this mother is struggling with 2 little kids while standing up, the cute girl offers her knee to the mother for one of her kids so she can hold up one of them, and the mother is sighing happily and let her kid sit on the girl´s lap! And I thought, aaah that is nice, helping a mother like that in a situation which must be rather trying; a fullpacked bus with a loot of people with 2 small children!
then I start to think about the situation... I cant understand how she wants to put herself in that situation? Another person´s kid? Maybe the kid pukes from the bumby ride right on her jacket, maybe the little one starts screaming like a ghost ( I have noticed that on the bus, small kids appearantly likes to scream as loud they can for some reason I really cant see...) what are she going to do about that? She is a perfect stranger and after what I have learned, even mothers have a hard time to keep their children quiet, how is a young woman going to handle the situation? I mean a lot of young women sometimes wishes that they could be a mother for a day and take care of a kid, but those feelings are usually hitting the surface in a nice situation when a child is laughing and playing with its mother or something, not on a freaking bus when the mother is hitting her stress- peak trying to wipe of the sweat from her forehead at the same time holding a kid on each hip...
Y´know, there are no busmother- babywelfare- money and I told her "Dont forget to give him back when you are stepping of the bus!" she laughed a little bit and answered "no I will try and remember that"... Must have felt awesome for her, for 12 minutes she was a caring mother on a bus holding her little kid, and when stepping of the bus, Boom! she is childfree and a young woman again who can go back to think and daydream about how funny the guy across her on the bus was and how cute he also was! //
Every seat gets slowly occupied but there are still like 10 or so who has to stand up in the aisle.. I´m of course sitting where there are four seats, not the usually two seats.. Lucky me, I have my ipod so I dont have to listen to these 2 chicks sitting next to me babbling about whatever they are talking about after a hard day in school....Anyway, there are getting on more and more people on the bus for every stop that goes and maybe 2 stops after the school a family, with 3 kids jumps on the bus and they have to stand beside where I´m sitting.. In the seat right across mine is a third chick who is rather cute.. Then when she sees that this mother is struggling with 2 little kids while standing up, the cute girl offers her knee to the mother for one of her kids so she can hold up one of them, and the mother is sighing happily and let her kid sit on the girl´s lap! And I thought, aaah that is nice, helping a mother like that in a situation which must be rather trying; a fullpacked bus with a loot of people with 2 small children!
then I start to think about the situation... I cant understand how she wants to put herself in that situation? Another person´s kid? Maybe the kid pukes from the bumby ride right on her jacket, maybe the little one starts screaming like a ghost ( I have noticed that on the bus, small kids appearantly likes to scream as loud they can for some reason I really cant see...) what are she going to do about that? She is a perfect stranger and after what I have learned, even mothers have a hard time to keep their children quiet, how is a young woman going to handle the situation? I mean a lot of young women sometimes wishes that they could be a mother for a day and take care of a kid, but those feelings are usually hitting the surface in a nice situation when a child is laughing and playing with its mother or something, not on a freaking bus when the mother is hitting her stress- peak trying to wipe of the sweat from her forehead at the same time holding a kid on each hip...
Y´know, there are no busmother- babywelfare- money and I told her "Dont forget to give him back when you are stepping of the bus!" she laughed a little bit and answered "no I will try and remember that"... Must have felt awesome for her, for 12 minutes she was a caring mother on a bus holding her little kid, and when stepping of the bus, Boom! she is childfree and a young woman again who can go back to think and daydream about how funny the guy across her on the bus was and how cute he also was! //
Yes To Cancer and AIDS, No to Worldpeace!
When it rains it pours I guess..the last post inspired me to write this...
I had a hilarious encounter with a woman a couple of weeks ago.. It was out on a pub and I was standing outside with a cigarette in my mouth! Out comes this rather nice looking girl who I´ve already had seen inside..she kept smiling at me so I figure, hey why not talk to her, she seems nice!
So I did, I walked up to her, offered her a cigarette and she took it and I introduced myself!
I am not kidding here, this is what she said to me; " My name is amanda and I am a feminist!"
!!?? My mind started to shout in my head; "WHAAT THE HELL WAS THAT!??
where is the candid camera? Did I all of sudden participated in some sort of anonymous feminists?
was I supposed to answer to this with "Hiiiii Amanda!" ?? I couldnt believe she actually said this to me.. First I thought I should just walk away but then I actually got irritated cause can people around the world stop "standing up" for the most obvious opinions!? Its insane; "I am a feminist, join groups like "against animal torture", "for world peace"... I mean c´moooon!
I am tired of people saying the most obvious things like its their own "opinion" and how they have really thought it through! So Amanda, the feminist, I didnt know if I should have laughed or cried, So I just "yeah I am also a feminist, and I am aslo straight so do you wanna come back to my place for a little rumble between the sheets??" She slapped the hell out of me..
But feminism? standing up for the women´s rights in our society, right? Women shall have the same rights and are supposed to be equal to men? Yeah, I mean cmon who doesnt feel like that?
Isnt that the most obvious opinion you´ve heard? Feminist? Yeah who isnt? Its the same thing with all these obvious factual matters; I have the same opinions ( and I am pretty sure the rest of the world agrees, except a couple who actually is grabbing a cat and puts it in his hash-pipe) but the only difference is that I dont have to join a fuckin group to tell the world I dont like little puppies getting tortured and putted in freezers in some person´s basement, if the world is doubting on my opinion on that subject, well FUCK the world then! Lets get some perspective here, its 2009, if someone tells me aaany obvious statement in the same sentence they are telling me their name while introducing themself, I get to slap them 9 times in the face! And if it is a woman telling me she is a feminist, she only gets 6 slaps cause lets face it, we all know this already, women are weak and doesnt posses the same resistance as men!! Aaand yes I am for female abuse and also,,, I like cancer...
I had a hilarious encounter with a woman a couple of weeks ago.. It was out on a pub and I was standing outside with a cigarette in my mouth! Out comes this rather nice looking girl who I´ve already had seen inside..she kept smiling at me so I figure, hey why not talk to her, she seems nice!
So I did, I walked up to her, offered her a cigarette and she took it and I introduced myself!
I am not kidding here, this is what she said to me; " My name is amanda and I am a feminist!"
!!?? My mind started to shout in my head; "WHAAT THE HELL WAS THAT!??
where is the candid camera? Did I all of sudden participated in some sort of anonymous feminists?
was I supposed to answer to this with "Hiiiii Amanda!" ?? I couldnt believe she actually said this to me.. First I thought I should just walk away but then I actually got irritated cause can people around the world stop "standing up" for the most obvious opinions!? Its insane; "I am a feminist, join groups like "against animal torture", "for world peace"... I mean c´moooon!
I am tired of people saying the most obvious things like its their own "opinion" and how they have really thought it through! So Amanda, the feminist, I didnt know if I should have laughed or cried, So I just "yeah I am also a feminist, and I am aslo straight so do you wanna come back to my place for a little rumble between the sheets??" She slapped the hell out of me..
But feminism? standing up for the women´s rights in our society, right? Women shall have the same rights and are supposed to be equal to men? Yeah, I mean cmon who doesnt feel like that?
Isnt that the most obvious opinion you´ve heard? Feminist? Yeah who isnt? Its the same thing with all these obvious factual matters; I have the same opinions ( and I am pretty sure the rest of the world agrees, except a couple who actually is grabbing a cat and puts it in his hash-pipe) but the only difference is that I dont have to join a fuckin group to tell the world I dont like little puppies getting tortured and putted in freezers in some person´s basement, if the world is doubting on my opinion on that subject, well FUCK the world then! Lets get some perspective here, its 2009, if someone tells me aaany obvious statement in the same sentence they are telling me their name while introducing themself, I get to slap them 9 times in the face! And if it is a woman telling me she is a feminist, she only gets 6 slaps cause lets face it, we all know this already, women are weak and doesnt posses the same resistance as men!! Aaand yes I am for female abuse and also,,, I like cancer...
we know, mrs expert, Michael Moore already told us a couple of years ago!
Okey long time no see and all that...
I am pissed off!
I was watching Jay Leno a couple of hours ago and on the show there was this female "political expert" who has a show on MSNBC.. Rachel Maddow or something was her name.. Political issues in the U.S are now a hot subject which is fully understandable cause they have encountered an election which has already made history with a minority in the oval office, and all around the world people are loving the new changes! Another thing that is worth mentioning is that it wasnt his etnicity that made it happen, Obama is the right man for the position! Although he doesnt have a huge portion of political experience, he posses something greater; a passion and a strong will to make a difference for the american people and to get them out of the huge puddle of crap, which the Bush administration putted them in!
They are in a huge economical crise (which they have in common with the rest of the world) and of course their pathetic health care system! Which leads me to why this post was created...
The political expert on jay leno was there to throw yet another opinion- molotov cocktail through the republican´s window! And I am all for that, cause they have to realize that now is time for the democrats to step in and fix their failures, so please stay out of it now Republicans! You had your chance... So Jay is interviewing this woman and yes at first she really sounds like an "Expert" in this particular discussion, she seems to be on top of her game and well- read! But a couple of minutes into the interview I choke on the big portion of obviousity (dont know if thats a word..) that comes out of her mouth!
She goes on saying that their present health care system is ridiculous and stupid! Only some percent of the american people has an health insurance and how much money it cost to be sick in America.. She says it would be reasonable if they actually would have had the best health care system in the world and that the american population are the healthiest and fittest people in the world and that the average american is growing up to be 300 years old! Then it would be understandable with such an expensive system but that is of course not the case..What she means is that its perfectly reasonable to pay those huge amounts if you are getting something worth while! You pay good money for something that is great, of course! But now they dont, they are paying insanely much money for a crappy system with a bunch of holes in it! Who wants to do that?
What ticks me off with the whole thing, she is supposed to be an expert! She gets that precious air time to say something that can help the viewers start believing again, that now things will be better! But all she does with that time is preaching to the choir! Anybody could go up there and make exactly the same discussion! An Expert! She is supposed to deliver answers not questions!
"Our present health care system is ridiculous!" Uuuuh, yeah I could tell you that! Michael Moore has already mentioned that! Eeeverybody has seen Sicko, Rachel make something worth while with your time! An Expert my ass, every hobo on each street corner can tell you that the health care system is boloni and they can probably give us a more insightfull opinion cause he can actually give us a personal example related to the story! That would be more insightful and learning than with a lesbian political expert, and she is probably one of those few people who actually has an insurance which she pays with the money from hogging valuable air time on a million- audience- TV show! There she does her appearences with just questions and obvious statements but no answers, Goood I hope that her own show do answer some questions cause otherwise I dont know what the hell is going on!
I am pissed off!
I was watching Jay Leno a couple of hours ago and on the show there was this female "political expert" who has a show on MSNBC.. Rachel Maddow or something was her name.. Political issues in the U.S are now a hot subject which is fully understandable cause they have encountered an election which has already made history with a minority in the oval office, and all around the world people are loving the new changes! Another thing that is worth mentioning is that it wasnt his etnicity that made it happen, Obama is the right man for the position! Although he doesnt have a huge portion of political experience, he posses something greater; a passion and a strong will to make a difference for the american people and to get them out of the huge puddle of crap, which the Bush administration putted them in!
They are in a huge economical crise (which they have in common with the rest of the world) and of course their pathetic health care system! Which leads me to why this post was created...
The political expert on jay leno was there to throw yet another opinion- molotov cocktail through the republican´s window! And I am all for that, cause they have to realize that now is time for the democrats to step in and fix their failures, so please stay out of it now Republicans! You had your chance... So Jay is interviewing this woman and yes at first she really sounds like an "Expert" in this particular discussion, she seems to be on top of her game and well- read! But a couple of minutes into the interview I choke on the big portion of obviousity (dont know if thats a word..) that comes out of her mouth!
She goes on saying that their present health care system is ridiculous and stupid! Only some percent of the american people has an health insurance and how much money it cost to be sick in America.. She says it would be reasonable if they actually would have had the best health care system in the world and that the american population are the healthiest and fittest people in the world and that the average american is growing up to be 300 years old! Then it would be understandable with such an expensive system but that is of course not the case..What she means is that its perfectly reasonable to pay those huge amounts if you are getting something worth while! You pay good money for something that is great, of course! But now they dont, they are paying insanely much money for a crappy system with a bunch of holes in it! Who wants to do that?
What ticks me off with the whole thing, she is supposed to be an expert! She gets that precious air time to say something that can help the viewers start believing again, that now things will be better! But all she does with that time is preaching to the choir! Anybody could go up there and make exactly the same discussion! An Expert! She is supposed to deliver answers not questions!
"Our present health care system is ridiculous!" Uuuuh, yeah I could tell you that! Michael Moore has already mentioned that! Eeeverybody has seen Sicko, Rachel make something worth while with your time! An Expert my ass, every hobo on each street corner can tell you that the health care system is boloni and they can probably give us a more insightfull opinion cause he can actually give us a personal example related to the story! That would be more insightful and learning than with a lesbian political expert, and she is probably one of those few people who actually has an insurance which she pays with the money from hogging valuable air time on a million- audience- TV show! There she does her appearences with just questions and obvious statements but no answers, Goood I hope that her own show do answer some questions cause otherwise I dont know what the hell is going on!
måndag 3 november 2008
Fanta, Cola, water..,..Rape??
But yeah every city has its charm but every place always has something that they cant really be proud of! For instance I cant imagine americans are very proud of that over 30000 people are dying in gunrelated situations every year! I dont think Germany are particullary jolly over the fact that one of the biggest murderers in history were leading their country for a couple of years back in the days...Agreed? So, yeah every place in the world has something they want to forget but sometimes those things are pretty funny when you are deep smack in the middle of it!
I was in Barcelona a couple of months ago and drugdealers are waiting for you on every streetcorner you are strolling down on! At first its something you really reflect on and you think you can change the world with just saying the words, "Did you hear that guy? He was trying to sell narcotics to me, right on the street! That is so wrong, I cant believe this, I am chocked, CHOCKED!" Cause that´s how we function, especially swedes when going to other places that isnt Sweden! But pretty quickly you realize you cant do shit cause you are an unsignificant fuck and in reality; nothing is perfect! So, you can either feel bad about it and think about every shit that goes on, or you can just let it go and move on cause you cant do anything about it! So just Foorget that people are dying needlessly in diseases and due to drugs around the world, shit happens, roll with it, nothing is sacred anymore and nothing is perfect! So as soon you realize that you cant do anything about it, you can just find a way to live your own life simultaneously to all the shit that goes on in the world!
And that´s when you can see the funny part in almost everything! I did that, when I was at the beach one day, and this is by the way in the middle of broad daylight around lunchtime, and this spanish dude comes up to me. He starts offering things and his verbal list starts with legal shit and just spirals down to any crap you can think of! I am just chilling and this dude, and for the record, this dude wasnt the only one, no they were at least 10 dudes walking around offering the same thing every other minute! Like after my first no I all off a sudden is in a desperate need of "Hashish" as they so proudly pronounces it! But yeah this dude comes up and just casually starts to offer me in this verbally putted list of his, just like; "What do you want? water, fanta, cola, sprite.. beer....hashiiish??" Haha I just love the fact that he starts out slow with regular soft drinks and just keep going down the list with wierder and wierder suggestions and for every offer he presents to me, the pause between them are longer and longer due to the fact that what he really wants to sell is the things that are in the bottom of his list! He probably doesnt even have any soft drinks at all, he is just there to sell his weed and he think he has come up with the best system in the world to keep it on the down low! If I would have said; "uuuh yeah a coke would be awesome!", He probably would get upset and say; "A coke!?? Are you fucking stupid, you think I am standing here trying to sell soft drinks!?" You know, he just starts judging me for asking him for a coke, just like; "A Coke? There is a 7-eleven right THERE! How lazy are you!??"
and just wandering off really slow, still mumbling like; "stupid tourists...coke..pff..fucking moron.."But of course in spanish but you know I only took spanish courses for the field trip to party a lot in Spain, like everyother kid that takes language courses... To learn??... Fuck that...
But it would be awesome if every criminal should do that list- kind of a thing everytime before they commit a crime! Like if a criminal came up to a girl on the street in the middle of the night, just like; "What do you want? Robbery? I can rob you and steal like your handbag...Assault? Huuuh what do you think, I can just round up my buddies and we could like kick you and punch you til you actually give us all of your money, that´s pretty cool right? Or check this out, how about rape and manslaughter!? That is personally my favourite! Like I start talking to you really nice and then I slap you to the ground and drag you to the closest bushes and tear off all your clothes and then I top it of by hanging you in a tree so it will look like suicide!? Huh, how about that?" She is like; "uuhm, I think I will pass this time, raincheck, OK? But maybe I will come back to this streetcorner next week and get some of that sexual abuse, ok?"
It would be much easier to avoid problems, I think!
peace
I was in Barcelona a couple of months ago and drugdealers are waiting for you on every streetcorner you are strolling down on! At first its something you really reflect on and you think you can change the world with just saying the words, "Did you hear that guy? He was trying to sell narcotics to me, right on the street! That is so wrong, I cant believe this, I am chocked, CHOCKED!" Cause that´s how we function, especially swedes when going to other places that isnt Sweden! But pretty quickly you realize you cant do shit cause you are an unsignificant fuck and in reality; nothing is perfect! So, you can either feel bad about it and think about every shit that goes on, or you can just let it go and move on cause you cant do anything about it! So just Foorget that people are dying needlessly in diseases and due to drugs around the world, shit happens, roll with it, nothing is sacred anymore and nothing is perfect! So as soon you realize that you cant do anything about it, you can just find a way to live your own life simultaneously to all the shit that goes on in the world!
And that´s when you can see the funny part in almost everything! I did that, when I was at the beach one day, and this is by the way in the middle of broad daylight around lunchtime, and this spanish dude comes up to me. He starts offering things and his verbal list starts with legal shit and just spirals down to any crap you can think of! I am just chilling and this dude, and for the record, this dude wasnt the only one, no they were at least 10 dudes walking around offering the same thing every other minute! Like after my first no I all off a sudden is in a desperate need of "Hashish" as they so proudly pronounces it! But yeah this dude comes up and just casually starts to offer me in this verbally putted list of his, just like; "What do you want? water, fanta, cola, sprite.. beer....hashiiish??" Haha I just love the fact that he starts out slow with regular soft drinks and just keep going down the list with wierder and wierder suggestions and for every offer he presents to me, the pause between them are longer and longer due to the fact that what he really wants to sell is the things that are in the bottom of his list! He probably doesnt even have any soft drinks at all, he is just there to sell his weed and he think he has come up with the best system in the world to keep it on the down low! If I would have said; "uuuh yeah a coke would be awesome!", He probably would get upset and say; "A coke!?? Are you fucking stupid, you think I am standing here trying to sell soft drinks!?" You know, he just starts judging me for asking him for a coke, just like; "A Coke? There is a 7-eleven right THERE! How lazy are you!??"
and just wandering off really slow, still mumbling like; "stupid tourists...coke..pff..fucking moron.."But of course in spanish but you know I only took spanish courses for the field trip to party a lot in Spain, like everyother kid that takes language courses... To learn??... Fuck that...
But it would be awesome if every criminal should do that list- kind of a thing everytime before they commit a crime! Like if a criminal came up to a girl on the street in the middle of the night, just like; "What do you want? Robbery? I can rob you and steal like your handbag...Assault? Huuuh what do you think, I can just round up my buddies and we could like kick you and punch you til you actually give us all of your money, that´s pretty cool right? Or check this out, how about rape and manslaughter!? That is personally my favourite! Like I start talking to you really nice and then I slap you to the ground and drag you to the closest bushes and tear off all your clothes and then I top it of by hanging you in a tree so it will look like suicide!? Huh, how about that?" She is like; "uuhm, I think I will pass this time, raincheck, OK? But maybe I will come back to this streetcorner next week and get some of that sexual abuse, ok?"
It would be much easier to avoid problems, I think!
peace
A lot of the times its funny as hell to call a bluff!
Every city in the world has its own charm and many places around the globe has something to be proud of.. It can be anything from a village having more sheep than people as population to a place with great history and ruins that amazes you while wandering around the place! And we all want to go there cause we are, well humans! Because we as a race have that special feeling when not believing in something until we´ve seen it with our own eyes! We are just stubborn as a fucking mule! It can also be that adventurous adrenaline that gives us the need to explore places, from time to time, outside of our safe bubble that is surrounded with a white picketfence..
It can also be for the very simple reason that enables us to say in a discussion; "Well, I actually went there last spring with my wife, yeah it was lovely, you should go there when you have the chance, magnificant!" Just to shine a little bit in our usual and boring lives... Because lets face it, we are a group of bastards just looking for any opportunity to show off and shine in other people´s company! I mean who doesnt get that little smile when the following situation presents itself from phrases like; "did you hear? the swedish national football team won in a match against Brazil?" Then he comes in, you know, that guy who always wants to top whatever you just said, because..its fun?? no its not fun at all, its simply because he is an Asshole!; "Uuh, yeah, I was there, it was awesome! I even talked a little bit with Zlatan after the game... he is a nice guy actually, he invited me and my wife to his place for christmas, but I dont know, think we will cancel, I mean we got our own lives to think about, we dont want to intrude!!" dont you hate that guy?
Every friend- group has that guy either close to them or someone they aaaalways meet out in a pub or something like that.. I am gonna let you in on a little secret; either you have one of the coolest guys as your friend or for the most part, you have a liar in your life! We all know that guy, he always has an answer lined up, its almost like he has quecards under the table and/ or he is probably taping every channel´s latest newscast there is and memorize it word for word..The only difference is that he remembers the things he hear with himself in the stories! That cant be easy, all cred to the cronical liars, because damn it must be really hard to remember eveything they have "experienced" in their lives! But we know, sooner or later they will slip up and the lies dont cooperate with eachother anymore! He knows it, you know it but the show must go on and no one corrects him, becuase you know, its more fun that way! Its like, "Yeah, I was thiiis close to be drafted when I just "happened" to stumble into Madison Square Garden where the New York Rangers are playing and I got to talk with the manager and we booked a date and a time for me to try out for the team, but then what do you know? I get hit by a cab, you know one of those yellow ones you always see in movies? Yeah, you know what I am talking about guys, you are always in front of the TV, bumming around!"
You know how they get worked up when they are starting a "story" aka a lie? They love every second of it, because they get really into the character and start believing it themself, so all of a sudden they start picking on you for not being high and mighty as him you know? just thinking to himself that he is the greatest and cant believe that he is hanging out with you loosers! and its sooo funny to listen intensly just putting more fuel to his ego, like you are really believing in everything that comes out of the dude´s mouth but in reality you are just waiting for him to stop and breath for a moment! because almost every time there is someone there that he would like to impress, 9 times out of 10, its a girl! so the lying just doesnt stop and under those sircumstances it is just hilarious to cut them off and just flat out call their bluff! Just cut him off once and just go mental on his ass and totally call his bluff, like this;
"Ok, first things first, you are an asshole who should be putted to sleep this second or at least be captured by the Korean army as an enemy and get aaaa loooot of cuts and bruises because damn I hate you, Vanish! And yeah, asshole, we know the yellow cabs, do you think we are stupid? However why you know it, its probably the exact same way how we know it; infront of the TV, U arrogant bastard! But the only difference between us two and you is when you watch something interesting or cool on the old tele, you see yourself doing it, you SOB trash! Just because you can memorize the words from anything doesnt mean you persé did them you freaking lunatic! And also, you have never been to New York, You havent even been outside your freaking doorstep since you quit school two years ago and the only logical reason on how you can possibly know the name of the New York Rangers´s home arena, is from last week`s 90 minutes documentary on NHL´s history, which you saw with US, you annoying dill-hole!!"
try it sometime when one of your friends just go on and on, you can almost make them cry when they realize they have been made a fool!
But beware, most of these guys are the ones who steals their father´s rifle and just go mental in some school!
Goooooood, I hate those guys soo much, noticed that anyone? But you gotta give them cred for coming up on all the shit and also they are very good with memorizing small ass details, too bad they didnt focused their one of a kind- memory on something worth while because you people with good memory are a very rare group, indeed!
OK, damn this wasnt at all what I wanted to write about, fuck.. Alright, one more long text cant hurt me, I dont think I can get too many complaints though and thats the beauty with not having so many readers, its impossible to get many complaints, becuase if you are not dumb you can probably work out for yourself that the number of complaints are in direct proportion to the number of readers! so cleared out that buisness for you! Okey, complaints or no complaints, I will divide this text into two different ones cause, its too F-ing looong..So this one stops here and now and the other will be right above this one, so scroll that shit!
Peace
It can also be for the very simple reason that enables us to say in a discussion; "Well, I actually went there last spring with my wife, yeah it was lovely, you should go there when you have the chance, magnificant!" Just to shine a little bit in our usual and boring lives... Because lets face it, we are a group of bastards just looking for any opportunity to show off and shine in other people´s company! I mean who doesnt get that little smile when the following situation presents itself from phrases like; "did you hear? the swedish national football team won in a match against Brazil?" Then he comes in, you know, that guy who always wants to top whatever you just said, because..its fun?? no its not fun at all, its simply because he is an Asshole!; "Uuh, yeah, I was there, it was awesome! I even talked a little bit with Zlatan after the game... he is a nice guy actually, he invited me and my wife to his place for christmas, but I dont know, think we will cancel, I mean we got our own lives to think about, we dont want to intrude!!" dont you hate that guy?
Every friend- group has that guy either close to them or someone they aaaalways meet out in a pub or something like that.. I am gonna let you in on a little secret; either you have one of the coolest guys as your friend or for the most part, you have a liar in your life! We all know that guy, he always has an answer lined up, its almost like he has quecards under the table and/ or he is probably taping every channel´s latest newscast there is and memorize it word for word..The only difference is that he remembers the things he hear with himself in the stories! That cant be easy, all cred to the cronical liars, because damn it must be really hard to remember eveything they have "experienced" in their lives! But we know, sooner or later they will slip up and the lies dont cooperate with eachother anymore! He knows it, you know it but the show must go on and no one corrects him, becuase you know, its more fun that way! Its like, "Yeah, I was thiiis close to be drafted when I just "happened" to stumble into Madison Square Garden where the New York Rangers are playing and I got to talk with the manager and we booked a date and a time for me to try out for the team, but then what do you know? I get hit by a cab, you know one of those yellow ones you always see in movies? Yeah, you know what I am talking about guys, you are always in front of the TV, bumming around!"
You know how they get worked up when they are starting a "story" aka a lie? They love every second of it, because they get really into the character and start believing it themself, so all of a sudden they start picking on you for not being high and mighty as him you know? just thinking to himself that he is the greatest and cant believe that he is hanging out with you loosers! and its sooo funny to listen intensly just putting more fuel to his ego, like you are really believing in everything that comes out of the dude´s mouth but in reality you are just waiting for him to stop and breath for a moment! because almost every time there is someone there that he would like to impress, 9 times out of 10, its a girl! so the lying just doesnt stop and under those sircumstances it is just hilarious to cut them off and just flat out call their bluff! Just cut him off once and just go mental on his ass and totally call his bluff, like this;
"Ok, first things first, you are an asshole who should be putted to sleep this second or at least be captured by the Korean army as an enemy and get aaaa loooot of cuts and bruises because damn I hate you, Vanish! And yeah, asshole, we know the yellow cabs, do you think we are stupid? However why you know it, its probably the exact same way how we know it; infront of the TV, U arrogant bastard! But the only difference between us two and you is when you watch something interesting or cool on the old tele, you see yourself doing it, you SOB trash! Just because you can memorize the words from anything doesnt mean you persé did them you freaking lunatic! And also, you have never been to New York, You havent even been outside your freaking doorstep since you quit school two years ago and the only logical reason on how you can possibly know the name of the New York Rangers´s home arena, is from last week`s 90 minutes documentary on NHL´s history, which you saw with US, you annoying dill-hole!!"
try it sometime when one of your friends just go on and on, you can almost make them cry when they realize they have been made a fool!
But beware, most of these guys are the ones who steals their father´s rifle and just go mental in some school!
Goooooood, I hate those guys soo much, noticed that anyone? But you gotta give them cred for coming up on all the shit and also they are very good with memorizing small ass details, too bad they didnt focused their one of a kind- memory on something worth while because you people with good memory are a very rare group, indeed!
OK, damn this wasnt at all what I wanted to write about, fuck.. Alright, one more long text cant hurt me, I dont think I can get too many complaints though and thats the beauty with not having so many readers, its impossible to get many complaints, becuase if you are not dumb you can probably work out for yourself that the number of complaints are in direct proportion to the number of readers! so cleared out that buisness for you! Okey, complaints or no complaints, I will divide this text into two different ones cause, its too F-ing looong..So this one stops here and now and the other will be right above this one, so scroll that shit!
Peace
onsdag 29 oktober 2008
Where the fuck is my gills? I need my set of wings, PRONTO!
Yeah, anyway... We humans always call ourselves the most intelligent of all the species on the planet and probably in the universe if we had a little bigger ego.. And sure that is probably true, we have done some great things in a short period of time and we are a head in the race with everybody else! We say that we are so complex and smart and I can to some extent buy that..But if we are so damn smart, why are we, in some cases, fucking retarded and easy? I dont mean like an idiot banging his head into a wall while screaming "pillows are hard to swallow!" or whatever retards screams when they bang their head into a wall... I mean why are we so easy and fragile? Why dont we use everything at full capacity?
We have two arms, yet almost everyone uses one of them to most of the activities when needing just one hand, why is that? Yeah, it´s not the end of the world thing here I am just saying we are very simple.. When I smoke a cigarette and I want a cup of coffee at the same time, I all of a sudden transforms into a fucking R-tard because I use my right hand to both those things but when they are mixed I have to concentrate on not dropping the cup with hot coffee thanks to my crappy left hand that cant do anything! That is of course our own fault because we just adapt and every part of us adapts too! If I have done something with my right hand for more than 25 times, I will continue to do so because its in my system now and my mind and body has gotten used to it! So maybe we are so complexed that even the smallest task appears harder than we think when in reality we have just got used with doing the same thing but in a much easier way so why change that!?
But we are sometimes very fragile and for us to live everything has to be just right! The conditions cant change to much because then we are screwed, I mean its a pitty and shame to confess that the homo sapiens is a comfy ass creature! You dont have to do much to hurt us, just have to turn the faucet a little to the left or right and we react! Everything has to be just right, not too hot but not to cold either! We break easily and have a pretty slow healing process and the most important we have has a shell not thicker than an egg! We are not very fast, we need to rest a lot of the time, crappy sight and crappy hearing, IF you compare with other creatures! But I guess everybody adapts differently; for a bear to adapt to a chilly environment he grows a thicker fur, for an eagle to get food he needs great sight and for a human to go fast we use our intelligence and we make a car that will take us faster than no other creature could ever take themselves and then we have the nerve to use an animalword to name the capacity of strength of our new machine! That is just rude...
Things would have been easier to do if we were equipped with more bodily functions! I mean breathing under water would have been great no? No need for expensive scuba- gear, just dive and breath! Flying? awesome right? dont have to worry about terrorists with bombs on planes and never eeever have to open one of those crappy ass peanutbags again, when all you want is some nice peanuts and "open" and every god damn nut flies up out of the bag and on the very questionable carpet under your feet... How great would it be if we werent so reliable on things? for instance what if our bodies would work perfectly without three meals a day? Maybe instead, we only needed three meals a month to go by as normal.. think about all the money we would save if we only needed three meals a month? Grocery shopping would be even kind of fun who knows? And parents would say to their skinny children, "you have to eat up, because next meal will not be for a while and we dont want to get hungry again in 6 days now would we!?" And to the fat kids; "Put down that bag of chips, you just had an icecream 4 days ago and we dont want you to spoil your appetite because the dinner is almost ready, just a couple of days now!"
But maybe, that would be unfair to the other species that actually have those abilities, but it would be great though..But okey, snakes, fishes and birds (I think those were the animals I copied in the examples above..) you get yours and we get ours ok fair and square?Maybe we are fine as the way we are, Just smart and easygoing creatures who probably should let the animals keep their abilities that we dont have, you got to let them have somethings to be proud over right?
Peace
We have two arms, yet almost everyone uses one of them to most of the activities when needing just one hand, why is that? Yeah, it´s not the end of the world thing here I am just saying we are very simple.. When I smoke a cigarette and I want a cup of coffee at the same time, I all of a sudden transforms into a fucking R-tard because I use my right hand to both those things but when they are mixed I have to concentrate on not dropping the cup with hot coffee thanks to my crappy left hand that cant do anything! That is of course our own fault because we just adapt and every part of us adapts too! If I have done something with my right hand for more than 25 times, I will continue to do so because its in my system now and my mind and body has gotten used to it! So maybe we are so complexed that even the smallest task appears harder than we think when in reality we have just got used with doing the same thing but in a much easier way so why change that!?
But we are sometimes very fragile and for us to live everything has to be just right! The conditions cant change to much because then we are screwed, I mean its a pitty and shame to confess that the homo sapiens is a comfy ass creature! You dont have to do much to hurt us, just have to turn the faucet a little to the left or right and we react! Everything has to be just right, not too hot but not to cold either! We break easily and have a pretty slow healing process and the most important we have has a shell not thicker than an egg! We are not very fast, we need to rest a lot of the time, crappy sight and crappy hearing, IF you compare with other creatures! But I guess everybody adapts differently; for a bear to adapt to a chilly environment he grows a thicker fur, for an eagle to get food he needs great sight and for a human to go fast we use our intelligence and we make a car that will take us faster than no other creature could ever take themselves and then we have the nerve to use an animalword to name the capacity of strength of our new machine! That is just rude...
Things would have been easier to do if we were equipped with more bodily functions! I mean breathing under water would have been great no? No need for expensive scuba- gear, just dive and breath! Flying? awesome right? dont have to worry about terrorists with bombs on planes and never eeever have to open one of those crappy ass peanutbags again, when all you want is some nice peanuts and "open" and every god damn nut flies up out of the bag and on the very questionable carpet under your feet... How great would it be if we werent so reliable on things? for instance what if our bodies would work perfectly without three meals a day? Maybe instead, we only needed three meals a month to go by as normal.. think about all the money we would save if we only needed three meals a month? Grocery shopping would be even kind of fun who knows? And parents would say to their skinny children, "you have to eat up, because next meal will not be for a while and we dont want to get hungry again in 6 days now would we!?" And to the fat kids; "Put down that bag of chips, you just had an icecream 4 days ago and we dont want you to spoil your appetite because the dinner is almost ready, just a couple of days now!"
But maybe, that would be unfair to the other species that actually have those abilities, but it would be great though..But okey, snakes, fishes and birds (I think those were the animals I copied in the examples above..) you get yours and we get ours ok fair and square?Maybe we are fine as the way we are, Just smart and easygoing creatures who probably should let the animals keep their abilities that we dont have, you got to let them have somethings to be proud over right?
Peace
Timing is crucial when coming up with new ideas!
Its been a while since I dashed down a couple of lines here and I would have loved to say that I havent had the time but that would be the biggest lie and lying is bad... Its jst that there are so little going on and its hard to find the great muse and in these days, muses dont grow on trees nor bushes! There are a lot of things we dont do or can do as human beings and we correct each other and stand in line without complaining because we just want to pay our dues and move on...Nothing of the extraordinary can touch us anymore! We are very hard to flatter and to impress, because we have seen it all up to this point, whether its a guy screaming violently to his cat or a kind of fat and wierdlooking guy who amazes us when he starts to sing, we´ve seen it all!
During my life things has changed drastically, I mean computers, cellphones, microwaves, bio and hybrid cars didnt exist in the late 80´s when I was born, but now they are practically a certainty for every person..except for the hybrid cars, even with the great deal that with a hybrid car you can park almost every where in our country, for free, people still dont get them..its easier to just go along with the old crappy environment killing car we always have driven.. Dont get me wrong here, I am not a greenpeace, Save the Wales, kind of guy I am just saying things have changed a lot in a short period of time! And what if we should have reacted as we do to some new stuff with all the new and developing stuff coming out? Just totally deny their existance because things are fine as they are! Well, if that would have been the case Adolf Hitler wouldnt have gotten to the power as easy because damn did he have a great luck with the timing of his "Coming out of the closet, to take over all the god damn countries in Europe- kind of a thing".. I mean the people were dying for a change with no jobs, no money and no patience left at all! Although many of them knew that his solution for change wasnt the best recepy but it was almost the only way out..I say almost because at the time people were fucking terrafied of the "Red cape" sweaping over the skies. So hmm communism or the nazis!?? and the fear of being a part of the well oiled red machine made them choose a time filled with wiping almost an entire population, Yeah great choice, sidestepping what could have been a tragedy and choose a violent little angry dude with a lot of issues as leader aaand in charge of the arsenal, instead!
But yeah, what if Germany at that period of time were a country with stability and good economy and the people were happy with things as they were? They would have laughed the little man right in his face as hard as they could.."Whaaat, no Adolf, why the hell would we want that? We are fine as we are, we dont need to execute millions of people, they havent done anything wrong maan! We are all happy with good jobs and a stabile market, what are you trying to change and why? The jews!? What have they done? Nothing bad has happen, what are you accusing them for, Adolf? But maybe he is right, the jews are probably responsible for the current situation...So, yeah lets make a celebration day for the Jews, because if they are responsible for how we live our lives now, they really deserve an awesome fiesta!"
How great would that have been? But sadly we all know that little poorlooking Adolf had a better timing than that, which sucks donkey... But how long can we keep upgrading ourselves? I think we are going to that place very soon when everybody is just fine with things as they are and move along paying our regular dues, although perhaps with some new and improved flarnerubgsdg... Yeah, dont look at me, the thing I am talking about hasnt been made yet, can you blame me for the spelling? How the hell can I spell a word that hasnt been invented yet?... Stupid spell- check with your red underlines...
Aaanyway!
During my life things has changed drastically, I mean computers, cellphones, microwaves, bio and hybrid cars didnt exist in the late 80´s when I was born, but now they are practically a certainty for every person..except for the hybrid cars, even with the great deal that with a hybrid car you can park almost every where in our country, for free, people still dont get them..its easier to just go along with the old crappy environment killing car we always have driven.. Dont get me wrong here, I am not a greenpeace, Save the Wales, kind of guy I am just saying things have changed a lot in a short period of time! And what if we should have reacted as we do to some new stuff with all the new and developing stuff coming out? Just totally deny their existance because things are fine as they are! Well, if that would have been the case Adolf Hitler wouldnt have gotten to the power as easy because damn did he have a great luck with the timing of his "Coming out of the closet, to take over all the god damn countries in Europe- kind of a thing".. I mean the people were dying for a change with no jobs, no money and no patience left at all! Although many of them knew that his solution for change wasnt the best recepy but it was almost the only way out..I say almost because at the time people were fucking terrafied of the "Red cape" sweaping over the skies. So hmm communism or the nazis!?? and the fear of being a part of the well oiled red machine made them choose a time filled with wiping almost an entire population, Yeah great choice, sidestepping what could have been a tragedy and choose a violent little angry dude with a lot of issues as leader aaand in charge of the arsenal, instead!
But yeah, what if Germany at that period of time were a country with stability and good economy and the people were happy with things as they were? They would have laughed the little man right in his face as hard as they could.."Whaaat, no Adolf, why the hell would we want that? We are fine as we are, we dont need to execute millions of people, they havent done anything wrong maan! We are all happy with good jobs and a stabile market, what are you trying to change and why? The jews!? What have they done? Nothing bad has happen, what are you accusing them for, Adolf? But maybe he is right, the jews are probably responsible for the current situation...So, yeah lets make a celebration day for the Jews, because if they are responsible for how we live our lives now, they really deserve an awesome fiesta!"
How great would that have been? But sadly we all know that little poorlooking Adolf had a better timing than that, which sucks donkey... But how long can we keep upgrading ourselves? I think we are going to that place very soon when everybody is just fine with things as they are and move along paying our regular dues, although perhaps with some new and improved flarnerubgsdg... Yeah, dont look at me, the thing I am talking about hasnt been made yet, can you blame me for the spelling? How the hell can I spell a word that hasnt been invented yet?... Stupid spell- check with your red underlines...
Aaanyway!
torsdag 9 oktober 2008
Drunken dudes cant fight crime, but damn it, we can apologize for it afterwards direct from our non- existing spines!
A lot of the places around the world there is a social proudness among the people a k a being patriotic, and for almoost everyone, that is a good thing! You have your country´s flag hanging on your porch and you can speak freely about your love for your own country! You can display it on shirts and other clothing and it just means that you like your homecountry and that you are proud of being a citizen in, yes you guessed right, what you call home!
Buuut, as a general swede, you know that isnt the case for us... having any sign of our swedish national flag on us or around us tells the rest of the mob; you are a rascist! now why is that? How spineless are we in this country? well, I am gonna tell you, we are so spineless as a group of people that we have invented the word, "lagom" and that word´s meaning is very hard to describe to other nationalities, because no other group of people has that word in their vocabulary, why? dont know... I think it´s because we are so neutral (well, we ourself claim that to be the truth because everybody knows that we havent been in any war for over 200 years or so, but honestly we cant call ourself neutral because we have been involved with one side or the other when the world wars were upon us..we helped with transportation of weapons and helped the nazis transport jews so we are not so neutral as we say we are, but whatever...) We are neutral to that extent that we have hard time picking sides in social environments and a lot of the times when a suggestion is brought on a friend group, many of the answers will be: "I dont know, whatever you feel like..." When we really do care and then bitch about it 30 minutes later over the fact we didnt got our way...Spineless is what it is!
But yeeees, the word "lagom" is saying that you are kind of something..like for instance; "how do you feel? response can be, and it´s totally gramatically legit; "lagom good".. you can put it infront of an emotion and that says that your are kind of good, not bad but not fine..follow me! but it can also be a way of saying something is just right, for instance; "Wow this soup was "lagom" hot! In that case the soup wasnt too hot nore too cold for eating it, it was just right!
So yeah, swedes are like the last bear in the story of goldylocks and the three bears!
But still, I love Sweden and the people here, becuase we are kind of like the little nice kid that hears all the time like "yeah this kid is going somewhere" because we have been rather successfull in world events such as sport, music industry, a couple of great actors and we have by comparison a pretty good and stabil society with our democracy although we should stop the foolish antiquated system of having a royal family! cmon, do we really need a king that is half retarded anyway? the old man cant speak nor read, what the hell? He couldnt even say the right country he was in while giving a speech, for god sake... Although the royal family sometimes works in our favour due to the fact that they are a great advertising pillar for our country! They cash in loads of money for our benefit and gives Sweden a face out to the world(although not a great face out, we can do better..ok, one of the princesses is hoooot so why not huh?)
Aaaanyway, we are that kid who is pretty successfull but still gets the biggest beating when coming home.. And by that I dont mean that we have problems with home abuses in Sweden I just mean that nothing is perfect! The swedish community and our people are very laid back, dont want to take up so much space and we are the ones who gets the line "Huh, Can you Speak Up please!??" and unsecure and apoligize a lot is our thing you know, buuut the second we get alcoholic beverages in our bodily systems, wooow loook the fuck out! We are obnoxious and loud as hell! We drink insanely big quantities of alcohol, it´s just pure old crazy! I dont know how much we consume every year, look it up yourself and you are going to get a biiig surprise.. Sweden, Norway,Denmark and Finland together go under the name "The Alcoholic Belt" (What a justice- league huh? a couple of drunken dudes just tearing stuff up, that is a preeetty big contradiction!)..very flattering indeed..And what makes it even more ridiculous is that in Sweden you cant even buy the stronger spirit in your everyday shop, no the government owns that market!! Isnt that insane? it would be more logic to hear that information with "yeah, alcohol is soo cheap and you can get it wherever you are most of the hours of the 24-hour period, so what else should we do!?" But that´s not even correct! We drink a great number of strong liquor, and this is of course a changeable variable but let´s say from when you are 15 years old, and you can only get it in one shop which closes 18.00 on the weekdays and 14.00 on saturdays and it´s not even that cheap!
That´s not even close to being logic...why do we consume so much alcohol!??
Aaaah, Sweden, I am so proud of our country of spineless,conflict-frightened "neutral" hobby- alcoholics! "Uuh, Hey my name is Hannes and I am a Swede.."- "heeeey Hannes".. "uuh, I have been a Swede my entire life since I escaped from my 9 months isolation, and I dont think I can quit this habit, "No Sir-iy Bob!" (I am not drunk now, you say dont drink and drive, I say dont drink and write, it will be messy indeed, I was just looking to see if a quote from little Elaine in Seinfeld would cheer anyone up..A Well, I like it, so just go away!)
Peace
Buuut, as a general swede, you know that isnt the case for us... having any sign of our swedish national flag on us or around us tells the rest of the mob; you are a rascist! now why is that? How spineless are we in this country? well, I am gonna tell you, we are so spineless as a group of people that we have invented the word, "lagom" and that word´s meaning is very hard to describe to other nationalities, because no other group of people has that word in their vocabulary, why? dont know... I think it´s because we are so neutral (well, we ourself claim that to be the truth because everybody knows that we havent been in any war for over 200 years or so, but honestly we cant call ourself neutral because we have been involved with one side or the other when the world wars were upon us..we helped with transportation of weapons and helped the nazis transport jews so we are not so neutral as we say we are, but whatever...) We are neutral to that extent that we have hard time picking sides in social environments and a lot of the times when a suggestion is brought on a friend group, many of the answers will be: "I dont know, whatever you feel like..." When we really do care and then bitch about it 30 minutes later over the fact we didnt got our way...Spineless is what it is!
But yeeees, the word "lagom" is saying that you are kind of something..like for instance; "how do you feel? response can be, and it´s totally gramatically legit; "lagom good".. you can put it infront of an emotion and that says that your are kind of good, not bad but not fine..follow me! but it can also be a way of saying something is just right, for instance; "Wow this soup was "lagom" hot! In that case the soup wasnt too hot nore too cold for eating it, it was just right!
So yeah, swedes are like the last bear in the story of goldylocks and the three bears!
But still, I love Sweden and the people here, becuase we are kind of like the little nice kid that hears all the time like "yeah this kid is going somewhere" because we have been rather successfull in world events such as sport, music industry, a couple of great actors and we have by comparison a pretty good and stabil society with our democracy although we should stop the foolish antiquated system of having a royal family! cmon, do we really need a king that is half retarded anyway? the old man cant speak nor read, what the hell? He couldnt even say the right country he was in while giving a speech, for god sake... Although the royal family sometimes works in our favour due to the fact that they are a great advertising pillar for our country! They cash in loads of money for our benefit and gives Sweden a face out to the world(although not a great face out, we can do better..ok, one of the princesses is hoooot so why not huh?)
Aaaanyway, we are that kid who is pretty successfull but still gets the biggest beating when coming home.. And by that I dont mean that we have problems with home abuses in Sweden I just mean that nothing is perfect! The swedish community and our people are very laid back, dont want to take up so much space and we are the ones who gets the line "Huh, Can you Speak Up please!??" and unsecure and apoligize a lot is our thing you know, buuut the second we get alcoholic beverages in our bodily systems, wooow loook the fuck out! We are obnoxious and loud as hell! We drink insanely big quantities of alcohol, it´s just pure old crazy! I dont know how much we consume every year, look it up yourself and you are going to get a biiig surprise.. Sweden, Norway,Denmark and Finland together go under the name "The Alcoholic Belt" (What a justice- league huh? a couple of drunken dudes just tearing stuff up, that is a preeetty big contradiction!)..very flattering indeed..And what makes it even more ridiculous is that in Sweden you cant even buy the stronger spirit in your everyday shop, no the government owns that market!! Isnt that insane? it would be more logic to hear that information with "yeah, alcohol is soo cheap and you can get it wherever you are most of the hours of the 24-hour period, so what else should we do!?" But that´s not even correct! We drink a great number of strong liquor, and this is of course a changeable variable but let´s say from when you are 15 years old, and you can only get it in one shop which closes 18.00 on the weekdays and 14.00 on saturdays and it´s not even that cheap!
That´s not even close to being logic...why do we consume so much alcohol!??
Aaaah, Sweden, I am so proud of our country of spineless,conflict-frightened "neutral" hobby- alcoholics! "Uuh, Hey my name is Hannes and I am a Swede.."- "heeeey Hannes".. "uuh, I have been a Swede my entire life since I escaped from my 9 months isolation, and I dont think I can quit this habit, "No Sir-iy Bob!" (I am not drunk now, you say dont drink and drive, I say dont drink and write, it will be messy indeed, I was just looking to see if a quote from little Elaine in Seinfeld would cheer anyone up..A Well, I like it, so just go away!)
Peace
onsdag 8 oktober 2008
does having means that you have a life!?
What is having a life? Is it to have a job, family, girlfriend (ok, it´s 2008 so a "partner"...) or a lot of friends? Do you have a life if you dont have neither of the above? Of course you have a life because you have to be alive to read this...barely though...But a life in the sence of being proud of what you do..is life equal to how proud you are of what you posses?
I consider a job to be the most important to have and with that you can definitely say that you have a life! although having a girlfriend is nice if it´s a good relationship and friends are always very important to have... And yeah family is of course very important but almost everyone has that so it still wont make you feel any better with two parents than none while waking up past lunch time!
but the job is still great to have because a lot comes with a job like after work activities, new friends and of course the greatest thing; to know that you are earning more money! Becuase lets be honest here, money is veeery important and I will quote one of the greatest comedians of all time becuase it´s fucking true; "Money doesnt buy happiness,, that phrase should end with -"Just Kidding!" And also with a job at your disposal will eliminate a lot of the low- life activites and replace it with better things to do, for instance to not fall asleep infront of the TV with a playstation control in your hands and crums of whatever on your shirt, you bum!
As an unemployed guy I consider myself having very little to do and therefor I think I dont have much to call a life..A lot of the time is being spent in front of something such as the computer and the old tele, so how in the world can I be proud of something like that? Not having enough money for what you want to do really bites.. But I can still answer the question becuase I have always some kind of plan in the nearby future...So go ahead, ask me the question, becuase I got something to say,, and if you really suck as a human being I will totally lie to make you feel as worse as you should be doing because maaan I hate you!
(what question am I talking about you say? that explanation will appear itself below these words due to my adlibing of this part of the text, after I wrote the upcoming sentences, while proofreading it..ok not proofreading it, I read every text once after I write them just to see if it´s worth publishing, and yes 9 out of 10 times, I will publish what I adlib becuase it´s just that damn good!)
In social environments there are a lot of polite curiousity going on with lines like these; "Hey, how you doing? great great, say what do you do these days!?" and under those sircumstances you can determine how much of a life you have depending on how your answer will be to those kind of questions..If you have an answer, any at all, like if you have something going on in the present or plans of the near future like a trip, a job coming up or maybe even to say that you just won the lottery and you are going to relax on a beach far far away from the crappy ass town you are living in..Because almost everyone that can stand on two feet (and those who cant wants to stand on both feet so yeah I am right in everything I say, so fuck off!) wants what they dont have! for instance like a person with straight hair wants curly hair, a person that is short wants to be taller, a dude that is going to be electrocuted wants a regular chair, it´s just how we are! (the examples above will work on both ways, except the last one, because a dude with a regular chair doesnt want to get executed, why would he? he is innocent! okey being innocent doesnt necessarily mean that you wont get putted to sleep, USA has proven us wrong there a whole bunch of times...That would really suck huh? knowing you are completely innocent and at the same time see two guys in white labcoats strapping you in while holding a huge needle, and it aint a placebo- test with saltwater in that my friend! You are a "dead man walking!" Wooow, that was a huuuge detour to what I was originally going to say... But yeah, In those situations when you have an answer, you can honestly come up to the conclusion that you have in fact a life worth living!
Even if you know that what you have going on really bites like you know your girlfriend is ugly and annoying.. and you do know that your job sucks because you are daydreaming of just stabbing everyone in the drive-through line in their throats this day due to the fact that there are too many fat lards in the world these days and you are close to a fucking melt down as the cashier at Mcdonalds..(yeah yeah not fat, okey the people that are eating McMenues are just stressed and dont have time to make their own food, yeah stick to that story when you cant fit on the escalator! Even then, you still have an answer!!
And under those sircumstances, what do you do? Well, you lie and make up fake names on what you really do that sounds cooler so instead of saying you work at Mcdonald´s drive- through you say you are in the restaurant buisness and instead of saying the name of your asshole to "partner" becuase maybe the asking fellow knows her/him by her/his name, you say that you are singel..is that easy...because it´s much easier to lie when you just have to exaggerate your own life and habits..
but if you dont have an answer at all that can show the fact that you actually are having productive days filled with activities, it´s much harder to lie and much easier to walk away from the dude that asked it becuase you know the truth of why he asked it in the first place, right? He is just waiting for you to say; "and what do you do?" because his life is going great and he wishes to throw that in your sad face the second after you are done with your life- description, believe me! Unless the question is asked to a person you want to jump around in the sack with two hours from now, you can go with the curiousity to sound involved and that you are interested, maybe you get lucky!
So, my conclusion is, if you have an answer to a polite, but still curious as hell, question you can consider yourself of having a life! Not a great one, because to have a great one you have to have everything of the first examples I gave of what you must have to have a life worth living, and that is a good paying job, a hot girlfriend, and nice friends....and yes, your family should exist too but thats not a "must have"...as usual... And by the way, if you are reading this, well, then you are soon to be a nobody with nothing of the above..just a good sense of humour!
(this text was the funniest I have written so far because maaan did I adlib or what!? it´s probably wierd to read but hope you tried your best!)
I consider a job to be the most important to have and with that you can definitely say that you have a life! although having a girlfriend is nice if it´s a good relationship and friends are always very important to have... And yeah family is of course very important but almost everyone has that so it still wont make you feel any better with two parents than none while waking up past lunch time!
but the job is still great to have because a lot comes with a job like after work activities, new friends and of course the greatest thing; to know that you are earning more money! Becuase lets be honest here, money is veeery important and I will quote one of the greatest comedians of all time becuase it´s fucking true; "Money doesnt buy happiness,, that phrase should end with -"Just Kidding!" And also with a job at your disposal will eliminate a lot of the low- life activites and replace it with better things to do, for instance to not fall asleep infront of the TV with a playstation control in your hands and crums of whatever on your shirt, you bum!
As an unemployed guy I consider myself having very little to do and therefor I think I dont have much to call a life..A lot of the time is being spent in front of something such as the computer and the old tele, so how in the world can I be proud of something like that? Not having enough money for what you want to do really bites.. But I can still answer the question becuase I have always some kind of plan in the nearby future...So go ahead, ask me the question, becuase I got something to say,, and if you really suck as a human being I will totally lie to make you feel as worse as you should be doing because maaan I hate you!
(what question am I talking about you say? that explanation will appear itself below these words due to my adlibing of this part of the text, after I wrote the upcoming sentences, while proofreading it..ok not proofreading it, I read every text once after I write them just to see if it´s worth publishing, and yes 9 out of 10 times, I will publish what I adlib becuase it´s just that damn good!)
In social environments there are a lot of polite curiousity going on with lines like these; "Hey, how you doing? great great, say what do you do these days!?" and under those sircumstances you can determine how much of a life you have depending on how your answer will be to those kind of questions..If you have an answer, any at all, like if you have something going on in the present or plans of the near future like a trip, a job coming up or maybe even to say that you just won the lottery and you are going to relax on a beach far far away from the crappy ass town you are living in..Because almost everyone that can stand on two feet (and those who cant wants to stand on both feet so yeah I am right in everything I say, so fuck off!) wants what they dont have! for instance like a person with straight hair wants curly hair, a person that is short wants to be taller, a dude that is going to be electrocuted wants a regular chair, it´s just how we are! (the examples above will work on both ways, except the last one, because a dude with a regular chair doesnt want to get executed, why would he? he is innocent! okey being innocent doesnt necessarily mean that you wont get putted to sleep, USA has proven us wrong there a whole bunch of times...That would really suck huh? knowing you are completely innocent and at the same time see two guys in white labcoats strapping you in while holding a huge needle, and it aint a placebo- test with saltwater in that my friend! You are a "dead man walking!" Wooow, that was a huuuge detour to what I was originally going to say... But yeah, In those situations when you have an answer, you can honestly come up to the conclusion that you have in fact a life worth living!
Even if you know that what you have going on really bites like you know your girlfriend is ugly and annoying.. and you do know that your job sucks because you are daydreaming of just stabbing everyone in the drive-through line in their throats this day due to the fact that there are too many fat lards in the world these days and you are close to a fucking melt down as the cashier at Mcdonalds..(yeah yeah not fat, okey the people that are eating McMenues are just stressed and dont have time to make their own food, yeah stick to that story when you cant fit on the escalator! Even then, you still have an answer!!
And under those sircumstances, what do you do? Well, you lie and make up fake names on what you really do that sounds cooler so instead of saying you work at Mcdonald´s drive- through you say you are in the restaurant buisness and instead of saying the name of your asshole to "partner" becuase maybe the asking fellow knows her/him by her/his name, you say that you are singel..is that easy...because it´s much easier to lie when you just have to exaggerate your own life and habits..
but if you dont have an answer at all that can show the fact that you actually are having productive days filled with activities, it´s much harder to lie and much easier to walk away from the dude that asked it becuase you know the truth of why he asked it in the first place, right? He is just waiting for you to say; "and what do you do?" because his life is going great and he wishes to throw that in your sad face the second after you are done with your life- description, believe me! Unless the question is asked to a person you want to jump around in the sack with two hours from now, you can go with the curiousity to sound involved and that you are interested, maybe you get lucky!
So, my conclusion is, if you have an answer to a polite, but still curious as hell, question you can consider yourself of having a life! Not a great one, because to have a great one you have to have everything of the first examples I gave of what you must have to have a life worth living, and that is a good paying job, a hot girlfriend, and nice friends....and yes, your family should exist too but thats not a "must have"...as usual... And by the way, if you are reading this, well, then you are soon to be a nobody with nothing of the above..just a good sense of humour!
(this text was the funniest I have written so far because maaan did I adlib or what!? it´s probably wierd to read but hope you tried your best!)
onsdag 24 september 2008
How old do you think I am, Wow, that one is tricky!
when you are growing up, and I mean for all your life, because think about it, that term is only used when you are a child who is growing up.. But I think you can use it to more than that, because we are growing up for everyday that goes.. Why does it have to be only for a child who is getting older?
Why cant it be when you are getting married? (I mean married, of course, when you are living in a civilized society and where you are not considered as an adult when you get your first tooth!)
"Aaah look at Pete, he is getting married, you know, they are growing up so fast these days!" "uuh, mom, I am 28 but hey I guess you are right, I am growing up!" Or, when you get into your first senior citizen- home (residential retirement home), "Aaaah look at my grandfather, just 75 and already in a retirement home, he is really growing up, oops grandpa (!) dropped your teeth there!"
Okey, maybe it should be used how it always has been used because that last part was just plain old crazy..and maybe even a little obscene...
But understand me here, We are of course "growing" all the time and we are getting older... But how do we decide when someone is "old"? Over 70 or when you cant eat an apple without chipping a tooth, because someone forgot to peel it and cut it into small pieces?
When are you "too old" for something? are you "too old" when you see your own child at the same place you hang out in while getting drunk? Or is it just your child who is "too young" to be there? In what cases can you say, "Wow, I am really getting old!" and "Wow, I am getting older!"... or are they the same!? are you "getting old" when your eyes doesnt quite cooperate with you, without helpdevices such as glasses with huge bifocals? And are you "getting older" when you are looking around in a bar and you realize that almost everyone in there, are like what 18 and you are, well, NOT! But "getting older" can of course also reflect on when you "feel" older than the ones surrounding you, for using the example already mentioned; in a bar!
How old are you when you want the guess from this conversation to be older than you or younger than you? Out in a bar: "So, how old are you?" "Weell, I dont know, how old do you think I am?" When do you want the guessing person to say a lower number than your actual age or on the contrary? Well, the obvious answer for when you want it to be higher is of course when you are considered too young to even be out in the first place, and you kind of wanna see if you´ll pass..
But lower, is more of a tricky question! I know, when an older woman asks me how old I think she is, I always go with younger because that is what she wants to hear and I am a nice person, even though she looks like she could be a model for a permobil or for coffins , because daaamn she looks old, stick to the bingo and weaving grandma! So I think, for women, they want a lower number when they have passed like, 25-28 depending how vain they are.. But men, I guess they want a lower number when they are I dont know, 35-38 depending how big of a looser they are...
I guess, we have a lot of stuff helping us determing what is "age- appropriate" such as laws and rules, like you cant go out in bars when you are under 18, cant buy strong liquor (unless it´s in a bar, I know it´s tricky stuff..) until you turn 20, cant drive nor vote while beeing under 18 in Sweden and so on.. But I am of course talking about how to know when something is or isnt "suitable", depending how old you are! the rules and laws can of course be helping a lot in some cases:
"He is only 18 years old, he cant get married, it´s going to be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor- party!" -- "Yeah, and illegal for him to have hookers there...."--- "Always illegal Joe!"
(I knew quotes from "Friends" would come in handy some day...)
Why cant it be when you are getting married? (I mean married, of course, when you are living in a civilized society and where you are not considered as an adult when you get your first tooth!)
"Aaah look at Pete, he is getting married, you know, they are growing up so fast these days!" "uuh, mom, I am 28 but hey I guess you are right, I am growing up!" Or, when you get into your first senior citizen- home (residential retirement home), "Aaaah look at my grandfather, just 75 and already in a retirement home, he is really growing up, oops grandpa (!) dropped your teeth there!"
Okey, maybe it should be used how it always has been used because that last part was just plain old crazy..and maybe even a little obscene...
But understand me here, We are of course "growing" all the time and we are getting older... But how do we decide when someone is "old"? Over 70 or when you cant eat an apple without chipping a tooth, because someone forgot to peel it and cut it into small pieces?
When are you "too old" for something? are you "too old" when you see your own child at the same place you hang out in while getting drunk? Or is it just your child who is "too young" to be there? In what cases can you say, "Wow, I am really getting old!" and "Wow, I am getting older!"... or are they the same!? are you "getting old" when your eyes doesnt quite cooperate with you, without helpdevices such as glasses with huge bifocals? And are you "getting older" when you are looking around in a bar and you realize that almost everyone in there, are like what 18 and you are, well, NOT! But "getting older" can of course also reflect on when you "feel" older than the ones surrounding you, for using the example already mentioned; in a bar!
How old are you when you want the guess from this conversation to be older than you or younger than you? Out in a bar: "So, how old are you?" "Weell, I dont know, how old do you think I am?" When do you want the guessing person to say a lower number than your actual age or on the contrary? Well, the obvious answer for when you want it to be higher is of course when you are considered too young to even be out in the first place, and you kind of wanna see if you´ll pass..
But lower, is more of a tricky question! I know, when an older woman asks me how old I think she is, I always go with younger because that is what she wants to hear and I am a nice person, even though she looks like she could be a model for a permobil or for coffins , because daaamn she looks old, stick to the bingo and weaving grandma! So I think, for women, they want a lower number when they have passed like, 25-28 depending how vain they are.. But men, I guess they want a lower number when they are I dont know, 35-38 depending how big of a looser they are...
I guess, we have a lot of stuff helping us determing what is "age- appropriate" such as laws and rules, like you cant go out in bars when you are under 18, cant buy strong liquor (unless it´s in a bar, I know it´s tricky stuff..) until you turn 20, cant drive nor vote while beeing under 18 in Sweden and so on.. But I am of course talking about how to know when something is or isnt "suitable", depending how old you are! the rules and laws can of course be helping a lot in some cases:
"He is only 18 years old, he cant get married, it´s going to be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor- party!" -- "Yeah, and illegal for him to have hookers there...."--- "Always illegal Joe!"
(I knew quotes from "Friends" would come in handy some day...)
the learning- process of riding a bike can be more than just training wheels..
I was thinking about something and I cant for all the rice in China remember what it was, buut I do, however, continued that thought and my mind wandered of and crossed a subject about age..
Everybody is getting older, I mean that is a scientific fact! you are being born, you learn important stuff like talking, crawling, walking, learn how to ride a bike with a father holding on and then you learn how to ride a bike with a pair of learning- wheels and then you learn how to ride the bike without any attachments to it, and I think the whole "learning how to ride the bike- cycle" and how that process is evolving is much like growing up and what bumbs and jumps as you moving to, well actually, death..but let´s not be moody here with death and such because that is not at all what crossed my mind..you probably think I am going to talk about what happens when you die and so forth due to the fact that I mentioned the word death so early in the text, but let´s not get carried away here, my topic is much more dull than that!
No, but seriously now, the "bike-cycle" can be compared to relationships and how that evolves and how you adjust to the fact that you have to share what´s yours with someone else! because first, much like the father holding on to the bike, you have someone watching your back all the time! But in time that holding on- person is becoming more and more like a glued backback, it´s an unnecessary weight, but then it kind of grows on you and it´s hard to let go... but then in time you have to because let´s face it here people, the first relationship almost never works out, you are (hopefully) young and you do stupid things when you have your first relationship and then; boom, break-up.. unless the stupid thing is the mother of all stupid things, like getting your high school sweetheart knocked up, because then that backback is glued with freaking crazyglue, that shit will neeeever wash off!.. But most of the times you actually move on and find someone new, and that is like the learning- wheels, it´s new and fresh and fun and you love it! You are just fit for eachother, you feel like you can do anything in the world all on your own! You are your own man but still have an understanding girlfriend, but sadly those two things can never be together for so long; freedom and relationship! But you think that, and one sidestep, the wheels tangles into some wierd stuff along the pavement and boom, knees are scrubbed and you cry and she cries because no one understands how this could happen... and you just want everything to go back, as it were before when everything just worked and it was easy, with your loyal dad holding on for dear life, not letting you fall! But that can never happen, so you have to, again, just move on..
Buut, now you have learned from your early day- mistakes and feeling good when the wounds are healing up, and then it slowly dawns on you; "I have to be all alone for a while to discover who I really am and what I am capable of doing myself, and then I can start looking for some really great attachments and that one will, hopefully, stay putted with me and we can learn from mistakes, together and grow old!"
I´ll say this to you though, it doesnt matter how much you screamed for your first when the second were failing, the ex can never come back and be the one who you end up with, because it ended for a reason and I dont know where you are from if you think you can marry your father, that shit is just wieeerd...
If, you dont get this text, read it again and if you still dont understand it, please comment it and let the world know how dumb you are for not understanding a comparing metaphor!
Everybody is getting older, I mean that is a scientific fact! you are being born, you learn important stuff like talking, crawling, walking, learn how to ride a bike with a father holding on and then you learn how to ride a bike with a pair of learning- wheels and then you learn how to ride the bike without any attachments to it, and I think the whole "learning how to ride the bike- cycle" and how that process is evolving is much like growing up and what bumbs and jumps as you moving to, well actually, death..but let´s not be moody here with death and such because that is not at all what crossed my mind..you probably think I am going to talk about what happens when you die and so forth due to the fact that I mentioned the word death so early in the text, but let´s not get carried away here, my topic is much more dull than that!
No, but seriously now, the "bike-cycle" can be compared to relationships and how that evolves and how you adjust to the fact that you have to share what´s yours with someone else! because first, much like the father holding on to the bike, you have someone watching your back all the time! But in time that holding on- person is becoming more and more like a glued backback, it´s an unnecessary weight, but then it kind of grows on you and it´s hard to let go... but then in time you have to because let´s face it here people, the first relationship almost never works out, you are (hopefully) young and you do stupid things when you have your first relationship and then; boom, break-up.. unless the stupid thing is the mother of all stupid things, like getting your high school sweetheart knocked up, because then that backback is glued with freaking crazyglue, that shit will neeeever wash off!.. But most of the times you actually move on and find someone new, and that is like the learning- wheels, it´s new and fresh and fun and you love it! You are just fit for eachother, you feel like you can do anything in the world all on your own! You are your own man but still have an understanding girlfriend, but sadly those two things can never be together for so long; freedom and relationship! But you think that, and one sidestep, the wheels tangles into some wierd stuff along the pavement and boom, knees are scrubbed and you cry and she cries because no one understands how this could happen... and you just want everything to go back, as it were before when everything just worked and it was easy, with your loyal dad holding on for dear life, not letting you fall! But that can never happen, so you have to, again, just move on..
Buut, now you have learned from your early day- mistakes and feeling good when the wounds are healing up, and then it slowly dawns on you; "I have to be all alone for a while to discover who I really am and what I am capable of doing myself, and then I can start looking for some really great attachments and that one will, hopefully, stay putted with me and we can learn from mistakes, together and grow old!"
I´ll say this to you though, it doesnt matter how much you screamed for your first when the second were failing, the ex can never come back and be the one who you end up with, because it ended for a reason and I dont know where you are from if you think you can marry your father, that shit is just wieeerd...
If, you dont get this text, read it again and if you still dont understand it, please comment it and let the world know how dumb you are for not understanding a comparing metaphor!
söndag 21 september 2008
The meter is ticking but I dont care, because you rule, Sir!
okey, there a lot of groups of people out there that doesnt get enough credit for what they are doing and some of them has already been discussed, like nurses and the auxiliaries that takes care of the senior citizens and the disabled! They are doing a great task for the society for a very cheap buck, and we all know it! So that has been covered since a couple of years ago but there are still many social groups that doesnt get enough credit but who really deserves it!
I am of course talking about or beloved taxidrivers who else!!?, they are doing an awesome job and now, thanks to the competition, the prize is really dropping down so it´s very cheap to take a cab and it´s totally worth every last dime...A taxidriver is like that loyal friend that everyone is kind of picking on but who is always there for you, think about it..; When you are just freaking hammered you call the taxiFriend:" Hey man, I need a lift, I missed the bus and it´s just too fucking far for me to walk, can you pick me up?" "Huuuh, yeah, I´ll be there in 10 minutes, just have to wake up a little bit, but sure thing buddy, thanks for calling me, see you in a bit!"-- they are just freaking great!
But I feel a little bit sorry for them, I mean that car is their workingplace, and people in offices are fucking complaining about a broken A.C- machine and that the guy behind their working station has a wierd and annoying humming while he is working so that makes you unfocused and you cant concentrate..Think about the taxidrivers! They are driving a tiny car and are basically trying to stay on the road because they have to listen to crappy music while talking to drunk people on the phone who are giving really slow and crapped out directions to where they are located , because they cant remember the address, and the owner of the house and party is outside somewhere throwing his liver up in the bushes! that must be extremely annoying, because you know how painful it is when a friend or a girl is calling in the middle of the night while they are partying and you are, well, not drunk enough for that shit; but that´s a taxidriver´s job, he has to do that! Cred dudes!
And the disturbing guy with the humming in the work station behind you is instead three annoying and boozed up persons that are singing some old song which they just heard when someone at the party were "youtubing", and you know they are singing it completely wrong and out of chorus until one of them pukes in the car 45 seconds away from the arriving destination, oh my god, cabbies, you are doing a hell of a job, I tell you that! Proud of you!
Peace and love to all the taxidrivers, that makes it a reality to be driven where ever while you can barely walk on your own, right up to the door! You guys are like the antiaid for rapes and physical abuses(unless the perp is waiting for you on the doorstep, but if that is the case, you are just having the worst luck eeeeveer and no one can you help you but yourself, sorry for that harsh information but Hey, chin up, that´s life!) thanks to your nightly routines!
CabDrivers equals the superheros of reality!
I am of course talking about or beloved taxidrivers who else!!?, they are doing an awesome job and now, thanks to the competition, the prize is really dropping down so it´s very cheap to take a cab and it´s totally worth every last dime...A taxidriver is like that loyal friend that everyone is kind of picking on but who is always there for you, think about it..; When you are just freaking hammered you call the taxiFriend:" Hey man, I need a lift, I missed the bus and it´s just too fucking far for me to walk, can you pick me up?" "Huuuh, yeah, I´ll be there in 10 minutes, just have to wake up a little bit, but sure thing buddy, thanks for calling me, see you in a bit!"-- they are just freaking great!
But I feel a little bit sorry for them, I mean that car is their workingplace, and people in offices are fucking complaining about a broken A.C- machine and that the guy behind their working station has a wierd and annoying humming while he is working so that makes you unfocused and you cant concentrate..Think about the taxidrivers! They are driving a tiny car and are basically trying to stay on the road because they have to listen to crappy music while talking to drunk people on the phone who are giving really slow and crapped out directions to where they are located , because they cant remember the address, and the owner of the house and party is outside somewhere throwing his liver up in the bushes! that must be extremely annoying, because you know how painful it is when a friend or a girl is calling in the middle of the night while they are partying and you are, well, not drunk enough for that shit; but that´s a taxidriver´s job, he has to do that! Cred dudes!
And the disturbing guy with the humming in the work station behind you is instead three annoying and boozed up persons that are singing some old song which they just heard when someone at the party were "youtubing", and you know they are singing it completely wrong and out of chorus until one of them pukes in the car 45 seconds away from the arriving destination, oh my god, cabbies, you are doing a hell of a job, I tell you that! Proud of you!
Peace and love to all the taxidrivers, that makes it a reality to be driven where ever while you can barely walk on your own, right up to the door! You guys are like the antiaid for rapes and physical abuses(unless the perp is waiting for you on the doorstep, but if that is the case, you are just having the worst luck eeeeveer and no one can you help you but yourself, sorry for that harsh information but Hey, chin up, that´s life!) thanks to your nightly routines!
CabDrivers equals the superheros of reality!
Prenumerera på:
Inlägg (Atom)